tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post6026049731123244822..comments2024-03-27T07:18:58.033+00:00Comments on Frances Garrood: Where do you stand on smacking?Frances Garroodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-31344143437431015692012-11-19T19:34:27.215+00:002012-11-19T19:34:27.215+00:00I agree with all you say, Frances. I might sometim...I agree with all you say, Frances. I might sometimes look back and regret my lack of patience in those days, but my girls knew where they stood, knew when they'd pushed me too far, and more to the point, behaved so well when we took them out anywhere, that we were frequently complimented. At home, of course, it was a different story - that's as it should be! And like your own kids, mine have all grown up to be lovely, kind, intelligent people with beautiful kids of their own. Fashions change, and if they decide not to smack their own children I will respect their decisions - but when I look after them (the grandkids), a firm voice seems to do the trick so far!Sheila Nortonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13997206301877289623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-71210939874815023012012-11-17T13:59:32.396+00:002012-11-17T13:59:32.396+00:00I remember the ONLY time my mother smacked me in c...I remember the ONLY time my mother smacked me in cold blood, although I know she did smack me in the heat of the moment, and that didn't matter nearly so much. I remember hiding under the table<br />afterwards.These days I don't fit under the table any more...Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-46953082693516278472012-11-17T03:16:58.578+00:002012-11-17T03:16:58.578+00:00Yes. Those who quote the old adage 'sticks an...Yes. Those who quote the old adage 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me' are very much mistaken. I can recall an incident from Sunday School when I was 4 that altered my attitude to life in such a way that I can recall the incident 64 years later as if it were yesterday. And I am not usually a person to dwell on things.GBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10289400344300258872noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-19380947903943475462012-11-16T18:59:47.711+00:002012-11-16T18:59:47.711+00:00On rare occasions – until they were old enough to ...On rare occasions – until they were old enough to understand reason – I smacked my sons on their hands. When older (4-10(ish)?) if reason didn’t work they stood in the naughty corner for 5mins. Both have grown up into well-adjusted adults.<br /><br />A gentle smack works - and you are right in that animals chastise their young with a nip and a paw – words said in anger have the potential to cause long term harm…<br /><br />I still remember my dad once telling me he would fall out with me if I didn’t behave. Innocent words to an adult and I am certain he meant no harm – but I was distraught and cried for hours…and still remember his words...<br /><br />Anna :o]<br />hyperCRYPTICalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11967085628384237933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-70462998696412691902012-11-14T18:59:33.867+00:002012-11-14T18:59:33.867+00:00I think your voice must be a lot more authoritativ...I think your voice must be a lot more authoritative than mine!Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-35479273105557471262012-11-14T17:30:46.164+00:002012-11-14T17:30:46.164+00:00I often felt/feel like smacking them... But (and h...I often felt/feel like smacking them... But (and here I risk sounding sanctimonious...sorry) after that first smack (administered to my second child when he was tantruming) I just didn't/don't. <br />I recall that the smack didn't achieve anything - aside from escalating his tantrum. It was counter-productive. It was emblematic of my loss of control - not his. And also signalled to me that my parenting style had to change to meet his needs - which were very different from his placid older sister's and which involved high degrees of parental 'control' (ie me being a parent, not a buddy!), order and routine and very regular (2 hourly) snacks. <br />My Mother employed a vast array of implements to whack my brother and I when we were children. We were well-loved - she was just replicating what she'd learnt. I recall that it was her voice that was the scariest instrument of all...<br />Good post.sansserifhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16445280597626572292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-85936648053162377672012-11-14T16:16:34.399+00:002012-11-14T16:16:34.399+00:00I wish my mum would stop smacking me. At 60 I thin...I wish my mum would stop smacking me. At 60 I think I'm too old. At 91 I think she is too.Keith Havershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05133563220362208820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-1440750341437854902012-11-14T13:45:40.987+00:002012-11-14T13:45:40.987+00:00I think Big Brother is preventing civilised, carin...I think Big Brother is preventing civilised, caring parents from smacking, while those who regularly give their kids a belting will continue to do so!Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-88277465596109768452012-11-14T10:29:19.738+00:002012-11-14T10:29:19.738+00:00i did smack my eldest when I thought he deserved i...i did smack my eldest when I thought he deserved it but gave up when he was about 2 because I realised that I was having to hit him harder to get him to take any notice and I didn't like the thought of where that might lead. Number 2 son was about 6 months old by then so has never felt my flesh on his in anger. That said, if it works for you then I am in favour of it (as long as it is a quick slap and not a beating) but it just didn't work for me. I am happy to say that Number 1 son is no worse for the slaps he received and has turned out into a very nice well adjusted young man - as has his brother BTW but I am biased. You are right about the animal world though. There a parent will sanction a youngster with a nip or a cuff around the ear and their societies seem to manage quite nicely.Colette McCormickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00383068332228040704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-47079322097651149742012-11-14T10:07:54.227+00:002012-11-14T10:07:54.227+00:00I couldn't agree more, Yvonne!I couldn't agree more, Yvonne!Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-77346780750144688932012-11-14T02:05:06.954+00:002012-11-14T02:05:06.954+00:00I think there is nothing as effective as a well-ti...I think there is nothing as effective as a well-timed smack on the behind, especially when it's a two-year old throwing a fit, feet in the air, screaming. (See, I remember it well.) If you do it once then, your life will be forever after a wee bit easier.Yvonne Osbornehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18212188414972694795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-92065944412895828342012-11-13T22:14:58.412+00:002012-11-13T22:14:58.412+00:00We seem to be more or less on the same side, Maggi...We seem to be more or less on the same side, Maggie!Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-23373961185848262222012-11-13T14:49:02.906+00:002012-11-13T14:49:02.906+00:00I'm with you on this one Frances. I remember s...I'm with you on this one Frances. I remember smacking mine on rare occasions. I certainly wouldn't dream of smacking my grand children, but we forget how tiring and stressful bringing up children can be. I hate to hear parents raising their voices now, let alone smacking their offsprings. I remember my mother laying into my older sister, while I cried looking on. I don't remember her ever hitting me though.Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15938216505505274248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-25313840932059479962012-11-13T13:33:26.339+00:002012-11-13T13:33:26.339+00:00I'm glad your spanked daughters have survived,...I'm glad your spanked daughters have survived, Em- musing!Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-11116801240240795972012-11-13T13:32:00.677+00:002012-11-13T13:32:00.677+00:00I think that's it, Rosemary. A smack is short ...I think that's it, Rosemary. A smack is short and sharp and immediately over. Whereas other punishments drag on...<br />Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-26349670817428981542012-11-13T13:30:31.614+00:002012-11-13T13:30:31.614+00:00Your raised voice must have been more effective th...Your raised voice must have been more effective than mine, Paula!Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-35821360066009498012012-11-13T13:29:09.072+00:002012-11-13T13:29:09.072+00:00Glad you agree, Frances!Glad you agree, Frances!Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-90563997917160682292012-11-13T13:28:27.190+00:002012-11-13T13:28:27.190+00:00In extremis is really my whole point, GB! In extremis is really my whole point, GB! Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-67734958396853424712012-11-13T13:25:51.713+00:002012-11-13T13:25:51.713+00:00But you seem to have survived, ER!But you seem to have survived, ER!Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-19451442694280990742012-11-13T13:25:00.787+00:002012-11-13T13:25:00.787+00:00...or very good parents?...or very good parents?Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-31122223877146542922012-11-13T12:13:58.867+00:002012-11-13T12:13:58.867+00:00Yes, I spanked my daughters. They're wonderful...Yes, I spanked my daughters. They're wonderful women now and do tell me they didn't appreciate a whop on their bottom. But ya know what? They were always well behaved unlike my grandkids (their kids) who are lippy and sassy. I used spanking ONLY when necessary.Karen Baldwinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01522178275164058849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-64378773463126291582012-11-13T11:22:58.489+00:002012-11-13T11:22:58.489+00:00I think the world has moved on too much in some ca...I think the world has moved on too much in some cases, Frances! I only resorted to a light smack when absolutely necessary and it only happened very occasionally. <br /><br />But my husband used to think the children might prefer a short smack to get it over with instead of my very severe look and angry words! Rosemary Gemmellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09311840205603508422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-81379829010322609432012-11-13T11:01:23.160+00:002012-11-13T11:01:23.160+00:00My son is now 24 and sometimes I wished my rasied ...My son is now 24 and sometimes I wished my rasied voice still had the same effect on him as it did when he was a child :-)(He still at home and now his girlfriend has almost moved in too, Bless them) Anywhere, when he was a wee one, I would slightly raise my voice and speak in a strong tone, 'No, don't... etc. If that didn't work then I would slap my hands together loudly,which mean next if I had to say it again he would get a slap on the back of his legs. <br />In total I think I only had to slap him twice when he was grown up. Interesting enough his school teacher at infant school said to me that Stewart would sit very quietly if she raised her voice to the class.... Hmmm, I wonder why? :-) Paula RChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05550276147711384895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-43651402645223448242012-11-13T09:14:27.973+00:002012-11-13T09:14:27.973+00:00I am in total agreement with you on this Frances. ...I am in total agreement with you on this Frances. I am similar age to you, and my 3 boys ( now in their early 30s and mid 20s) got a smack on the leg or bottom when they had driven me to distraction. They are also delightful young men who have never been violent! However, I could never see myself smacking my grandchildren ( aged 2 and 6 weeks) Franceshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02576715462615744934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3132582821010486689.post-47322120848179025632012-11-13T04:28:15.906+00:002012-11-13T04:28:15.906+00:00My parents never hit us (never me and I assume nev...My parents never hit us (never me and I assume never CJ). If our Mother made a suggestion then it was taken as an instruction. As a result we had liberty on the understanding we never turned it into licence and overstepped the mark. Did that happen with our (my wife and my) children? No. Did I smack them? Yes though not anywhere other than on the legs and not as a matter of course. Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? That all depends. <i>In extremis</i> probably yes. My son who has turned into a super person is one of my best friends and, I think judging by our relationship, I am one of his.GBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10289400344300258872noreply@blogger.com