Saturday, 7 February 2015

Silly news

I'm sure everyone has read these  gems of news, all emerging this week, but just a reminder:

1. Public health officials are telling supermarkets not to place daffodils near the fruit and veg, because people might eat them. You almost certainly already know this, but what you may not know is that 27 people made themselves ill last year by doing just that. Personally, I think that by removing themselves from the gene pool, these people are doing us all a favour.

2. Gwyneth Paltrow steam cleans her fanny (I hope that term is less offensive than the obvious alternative). This poses several interesting questions (apart from the natural reaction of "ouch!"). Has she nothing better to do*? Is it wise to recommend a practice that might result in her being sued for being the cause  of the scorched female parts of her followers? And lastly, and perhaps most importantly, why? Just why?

3. Newcastle Brown Ale soon won't be brown any more, because the Americans like pale beer. Now, I've nothing against the Americans, but this is our ale, and we like it brown. I don't  drink it myself, but there's a principle at stake here, isn't there?

*Just in case you're wondering why I haven't anything better to do than post this, I'm waiting for it to be time to put the pasta on. Keeping the iPad in the kitchen isn't always a good idea.

23 comments:

  1. I presume you were having a daffodil sauce with your pasta!

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  2. I think we may be confused about which bits Gwyneth steam cleans. American fannies are bottoms or bums. The first time I heard a bum bag referred to as a fanny bag I was all eyes and then disappointed.
    I don't like Newcastle Brown Ale so it can be whatever colour they like.

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    1. Adrian, I'm English, and I use our vocabulary. If I asked you what kind of pants you were warning, you might rightly take offense, but I the US it would be fine. I mean wearing, not warning. This thing still won't let me correct comments. And warning pants would be silly, wouldn't it. Unless it was used as an adjective, in which case....oh, never mind.

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  3. We agree on # 1 and 2, Frances. As for # 3, well, I don't drink beer (simply don't like the taste), but I think if something is called ".... Brown", then it should be, obviously, brown.
    Back to # 2: I just refuse to believe such "news" are true in the first place.

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    1. The Paltrow thing is true, Meike. It was in the Times, no less. And I don't like that particular beer, either. But we shouldn't have to change its name, should we.

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  4. Words fail me at such stupidity. I've nominated you for a blog award, if you wish to accept it, Frances. You can find it here: http://ros-readingandwriting.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. That's very kind, Rosemary. I never know what to do with awards, but am always grateful for the thought!

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  5. Daffodil bulbs can and have been confused with onions and they and the stems which the Chinese in particular are alleged to have used in place of or mistaken for a Chinese chive-like plant are a powerful emetic. I understand that the flowers too are poisonous. However I do know a world-famous (he was an expert in his field not a film star) Welshman (which may explain everything) who at a dinner at which I was present got so bored with the pomposity of the speeches that he started to eat the daffodils in the centre of the table (It was St David's Day). The speeches instantly lost their intended gravitas. (And everyone was grateful).

    GP can do what she wants so far as I am concerned but it does sound a very unlikely tale.

    Many many years ago I had a phase of drinking Newcastle Brown (an 'off' half of my favoured Guinness had instantly made me violently ill - a powerful put-off if ever there was one). My immediate reaction was to call the proposal a travesty. Then I realised I didn't give a damn.

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    1. A very dear friend of mine once mistook a daffodil bulb for an onion, and put it in a stew. She's still alive. As for GP, I've read that in too many places for it to be totally untrue. But then, she's mad, isn't she?

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  6. Replies
    1. Tanks, L. Ridiculous, all three, aren't they? I meant thanks, of course....

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  7. Sometimes you just crease me up!!

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    1. A foldable Maggie! Interesting.

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    2. Thank you, Maggie, I think....?

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  8. I am no longer going to read the news, Frances. I shall just read your brilliant snippets!

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    1. If you do that, Wendy, you'll end up almost as ignorant as I am,

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  9. Newcastle Ecru just doesn't have the same appeal.

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  10. I heard about the daffodils on the news the other day and just shook my head. As for the Newcastle brown Ale - isn't the clue in the name?

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