For the uninitiated, Room 101 is a place into which you hurl things you don't like/want. And into mine goes......self-assembly.
Now, once upon a time, you could go out and buy something. It would come looking exactly like the thing you wanted. It didn't need legs screwing on or wheels attaching. It was whole. Complete. Usable. It was what you wanted.
But no more. Nowadays, most things seem to come in bits. With screws. Either too many screws, or just one too few. Too many make you wonder what you haven't screwed. One too few makes things drop off. And then there are the instructions. These come in about fifty languages, with diagrams. And no words (well, one or two, obviously, because of the fifty languages. But not enough to be of any help at all).
Our new vacuum cleaner came in bits. Yesterday. For a start, the picture didn't resemble what we received, and we don't seem to have the "AeroPro Ergo handle", and I'm not sure we have the "AeroPro Perketto nozzle" (these were supposed to be the English instructions). You couldn't make it up, could you? And no. I didn't. I don't have enough imagination for this kind of b****cks. The list of "consumables and accessories" is endless (when did you last comsume a bit of vacuum cleaner? Ha. I thought not). My patience is NOT endless. I hate, hate, hate this vacuum cleaner. Even in its not properly assembled state, I have taken against it. Plus, it wasted most of yesterday evening as I tried to put it together, and the time it's taken to write this rant.
So into my Room 101 goes self-assembly. ALL self-assembly.
What (or who) would you put in your Room 101? No prizes, but a special mention for the one I like best, and a little one-woman round of applause.
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Those manning help lines/call centres who are of no use if the answer does not appear on their screen and end the conversation with "is there anything else I can help you with?" Anything else when they have not helped at all!
ReplyDeleteL I quite agree. Infuriating.
DeletePeople saying 'what was your name?' or 'what was your adress?' when they really want current information.
ReplyDeleteQuite possibly people who reply to this question with their maiden name and previous address are on someone else's list ...
Patsy that gets to me, too. What were you looking for? Is another one, as though you no longer want what you came into a shop for.
DeleteI bought my latest vacuum cleaner from a little shop spitting distance away about 10 years ago. It was the most expensive one I had ever bought, it was complete when I bought it, and it is a Sebo! It is perfect and came ready to go! I love it.
ReplyDeleteOh, lucky you.a Frances! Loving a vacuum cleaner seems a far off dream at the moment!
Delete"Some assembly required" makes my head explode, although I'm quite good at it. I don't want to be put to work by someone who has taken my money. Most memorable example was a Christmas Eve, when Lovely Daughter was little. We had purchased a nice wooden Doll's House. We found ourselves in our kitchen at 4am still gluing on individual shingles for the roof, one by one.
ReplyDeleteAnd were you one short at the end, or shuffling through them throughout the festive season?
DeleteFrances, I don't have a 101. I love things that are puzzling. I dislike the notion that you can buy satisfaction. That has to be worked for.
ReplyDeleteWhat the bloody hell has a sucker up of dust and dog hairs got to do with self assembly furniture. Just get a Dyson as I did. It sucks dog hairs, mice, not sheep, one can't expect perfection. I was a little annoyed that it couldn't remove perfume. I have solved the problem for £13.00p Tesco's duvets don't need cleaning.
Adrian, you've missed the point. I respectfully suggest you have a huge 101. What about all those politicians you rant about? It doesn't have to be self assembly!
DeleteAccepted Frances, I have just paid good money for Peter May's Coffin Road. Dashed off, predictable. Not to mention boring. It will go into 101.
DeleteGlad I can pop anything in there. Gideon with his spastic mouth maybe.
PS. A point in any direction is not a point. That's me and it is from Oblio and Arrow.
DeleteAdrian I've absolutely no idea what that last comment means!
DeleteJust to show I read the comments too Oblio was a boy who had a round head (I think) in a land where everyone else had pointed heads (I think). I don't know anything else about it or where the Arrow comes in and I can't even recall how I know that.
DeleteLike Adrian, I don't really have a Room 101. But there are some "pet hates" of mine such as leaf blowers, and certain ring tones on mobile phones which I hear all the time when I'm on the train and that really get on my nerves.
ReplyDeleteI may have mentioned it in a comment on your blog before: Assembling furniture is something I actually like doing! I've done my entire bedroom that way, with help only for the wardrobe (because its elements are too heavy and big for me to hold AND work on screws at the same time).
So far, I've always been lucky in that whatever self-assembly product I got came complete with no parts missing, and instructions clear enough for me to follow.
As I said in my reply to Adrian, it can be anything.Ring tones and leaf blowers will do nicely.
DeleteI'm with Librarian on the leaf blowers. Why pay to noisily blow things about when the wind does it for nothing?
ReplyDeleteBut my most irritating bugbear is sham interest in me - cold-callers who ask, 'And how are you today, Madam?' before they start selling/scheming/scamming and, worse, friends who call to ask, 'What are you doing on Wednesday/at the weekend/tonight?' without first saying what they are proposing. Not anymore, but I used to find myself doing all kinds of things I didn't necessarily want to do because, being a simple soul, I would say I was free, expecting an invitation, when it was actually baby/dog-sitting that the friend required. I didn't mind helping, but would have liked the option to wriggle out of it!
I totally agree with all that, Joanna. Maddening.
DeleteShoddy window cleaners who claim they will clean the sills, so you agree to pay a little more, then see streaks of green washing up liquid down the frames (first window cleaner), or dirty grey streaks from the second. I just want a window cleaner who will do a proper job. So into room 101 goes the window cleaner, the ladder and his dirty water, followed by his bucket.
ReplyDeleteMaggie, our window cleaner can join yours. He NEVER announces his arrival; just appears at a window (I sold a story years ago about that, so I suppose I shouldn't complain).
DeleteAnd I think you blogged about it too.
DeleteCan't believe a vacuum cleaner now comes in bits! I'm with Joanna - it's really irritating to be asked how I am when I have no idea who is speaking.
ReplyDeleteRosemary, you could always tell them how you are; in detail; no surgical procedure spared?
DeleteYou should have gone to John Lewis!
ReplyDeleteGraham I was given it to review. I'd never have chosen it!
ReplyDelete