Tuesday 16 August 2016

My difficult relationship with poached eggs


Poached eggs and I have a poor relationship. Oh, I can eat them all right - no probem - but I cannot for the life of me make one.

Look at the poached egg in the picture. Lovely, isn't it? The yolk neatly swaddled like a newborn baby in its smooth white blanket. But not mine. Ooooh no. Mine all, and I mean all, turn out to look like ghosts, trailing flimsy strands of ectoplasm (or even "trailing clouds of glory"*) behind them. Half the ectoplasm always remains behind,  drifting forlornly in the saucepan, too decimated to bother with, and then sticks and is impossible to scrub off.

Please don't tell me to:
Use boiling water
Use simmering water
Use off-the-boil-altogether water
Add vinegar
No vinegar
Swirl the water
Don't swirl the water
Use fresh eggs
Use old eggs

For I have tried all these things, and the result, every time, is another ghost.

So I bought an egg poacher; one of those saucepans that have little plastic nests for the eggs. That'll teach them, I thought. They can't jump out of that. But this didn't work, either. They stuck to the nests, and weren't done properly, because how do you know when they're cooked underneath?

So I've decided to give up on the poached eggs. Next time, I shall fry them. You know where you are with a fried egg.

*Wordsworth

22 comments:

  1. http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/eggs_benedict
    Hey Frances! Ree Drummond makes some great looking poached eggs and I have her Eggs Bendict recipe for you above and she shows you how to poach an egg!
    Even better, is her "egg in a hole" recipe, my son loves it!
    http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/egg-in-a-hole-see-alternate-names-below/
    I love the Pioneer Woman, by the way, she has such great recipes and was such a popular blogger, she now has her own TV show!

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    1. Thanks, Kay. I'll look them up. I'm determined to conquer this thing!

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  2. I've never even attempted to make a poached egg - I am sure my results would be just as "ghostly" as yours, Frances!

    As for "Pioneer Woman", my sister-in-law and niece mentioned her a few times during my Yorkshire holiday. Apparently she's great to watch even if one doesn't feel inclined to make steaks for 50 men every lunch time.

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    1. Meike, maybe you don't poach eggs in Germany? Sensible people!

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  3. I am so glad you describe your poached eggs like that, Frances, because that is exactly how mine turn out with all those strands and I always thought it was just me :-) xx

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    1. Teresa, I'm so glad you're another member of the poached ghosts club! I'm in good company.

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  4. I never tried poaching an egg. I don't think it's as common over here, as I even had to look it up to remember what we call it. If you translate it back again from Swedish to English, you get a "lost" egg... (Myself, I either boil them - hard - or make messy omelettes.)

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    1. DT, you're sensible. Stick to what you know. I should do the same. But lost eggs describes rather well what I make!

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  5. Yes, I've made ghost eggs too. And no, the rubbery poaching pods didn't work for me either. As for fried eggs, I can't do them any better!

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    1. Lindsay, how do you go wrong with a fried egg?? The secret is to put a lid on the pan; that makes sure there's no gloop on the tops!

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  6. I resorted to an egg poacher too - a non-stick one works slightly better if you grease with butter first. Don't even attempt a non-stick.

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  7. Smiling here as husband tried poaching one the other day in a pan of water and it was a disaster! Only time I've ever poached them was in a poacher as you described before we got rid of it. Quicker to fry.

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    1. Rosemary, please pass on my commiserations to your husband. As for me, I'd still like to succeed, but I think there's little hope.

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  8. I don't know what to say although, being a man, my natural inclination is to try and solve the problem. I just crack them into a small bowl and transfer them into the water: no problem. However you have made me yearn for a fried egg for my breakfast suitably basted to get a nice gloop over the top.

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    1. Ah. You're a basting person too! I've never understood those people who serve fried eggs unbasted, with the raw gloop trembling unappetisingly on top. Now, Graham. Can you please teach me your secret with poached eggs?

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  9. I fry my eggs "over-easy" flipping them carefully so as not to break the yellow. No goop on my eggs!

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    1. Jill, I prefer to baste. That way I don't get a hard yolk. But what about poached eggs? I'm fine with fried!

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  10. Have you heard from the publisher yet?

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  11. Frances, you're trying to trap me. I didn't say it was a publisher! And no. Not yet. But thanks for asking.

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  12. Hi Frances, not a poached egg person, but we have one of those nifty little microwave gadgets. The family swear by it.

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