With a limerick, try, if you can,
To ensure the appropriate scan.
If you write it like this,
I'm afraid you will miss
The wonderful prize I'm giving for the best Limerick.
I'm puzzled at the number or people who can't write limericks that scan properly (not my erudite readers, naturally), so I'm offering a small mystery prize for the best limerick on the subject of ...writing limericks. Winner to be chosen by the readers.
No rules, no fee. I'm just trying to make sure at least some of you waste some time, too. It'll make me feel better.
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ReplyDeleteThat does not qualify as a limerick, I think.
DeleteIf it is a limerick it's much worse than one of mine and that takes some doing.
DeleteI have tried to come up with a limerick
ReplyDeletebut my mind is as stiff as a building brick
so at least let me try
before I start to cry
and who knows, I may still learn the rhyming trick.
You had a go, Meike, and that's the main thing. Well done!
DeleteWell you have succeeded, Francis. I have just wasted a happy hour composing ridiculous limericks.
ReplyDeleteThere’s a blogger who hails from Devizes
whose limericks never win prizes
They don’t say very much
for they’re all double dutch
and the lines are of all different sizes
By far the best so far, Gail. Congratulations!
DeleteThere was a lovely young lady called Frances
ReplyDeleteWho is probably about to hiss
As duffer that I am
my limericks don't scan
And that's the kind of thing she takes amiss.
Hmmm... Interesting try, Patsy. Thank you.
DeleteDon't think I can't tell what tone of voice you typed 'interesting' in!
DeleteI'm afraid I'm passing on this one.
ReplyDeleteYou were right not to have me down as a coward. I'm not. However I know my limitations and I also know that it would take me longer to attempt than the time I have available to allocate to the task.
DeleteOn reflection perhaps I should refer you and your readers to a book I have entitled The Lure of the Limerick. I'm not at home so I can't look at it to see the author but I do recall that (s)he says
DeleteThe limerick's an art-form complex
Whose contents run chiefly to sex.
It's famous for virgins
And masculine urgin's
And vulgar erotic effects.
I know that doesn't address the issue that you asked us to address but I thought I'd throw it in for effect.
I have tried! But always seem to fail on the last line.
ReplyDeleteFrances, one of the secrets, I think (and I don't do much limerick-writing), is to think of the last line first.
DeleteThere was an old poet called Fry
ReplyDeleteWhose examples I looked up to try
I followed his rhymes
But the filth in his lines
Are the odes I less travel by
There seems to be an 8,8,5,5,8 metre, but even Fry doesn't stick to this. As long as lines 1, 2 and 5 rhyme, and 3 and 4 rhyme, I think you can get away with it. I like it when you set us a task Frances.
Well done, Maggie!
DeleteThe limerick raises a smile
ReplyDeleteBecause of its singular style.
The rhythm and rhyme
Must perfectly chime
In order to make it worthwhile.
I really like this one, Joanna. Thank you!
DeleteA blogger whose real name is Bobby
ReplyDeleteSaid, "Limerick writing's my hobby.
I don't know which is worse,
The smell of my verse
Or the people queued up in the lobby."
A limerick writer, Nan Tucket,
ReplyDeletePut all of her works in a bucket.
But next to George Harrison
Hers paled in comparison;
'Twould be rude to divulge where she stuck it.
Even better! You're on a roll today, aren't you?
DeleteI'm trying, Frances, I'm trying!
ReplyDeleteWell, keep on, RWP. I'm enjoying them.
DeleteThough writing a limerick is easy,
ReplyDeleteEspecially the type that are sleazy,
It's hard to refrain
From becoming profane
And a struggle to keep one's tone breezy.
The problem, dear reader, is textual.
ReplyDeleteWhether to be intellectual
And be thought a prude
Or succumb to the lewd
And write something thoroughly sexual.
A contest with limericks? Curses!
ReplyDeleteComposing those damnable verses
Fried my brain to a crisp,
"Call a doctor," I whisp-
ered, "and two psych ward nurses."
RWP, what can I say? Brilliant, all of them! If anyaone doesn't agree that you are the overall winner (not least for sheer quantity), then please let me know! But several others were very good indeed. Could I have your address, please? My email is on the right-hand side bar. Be warned - the prize will be small!
DeleteWhat a pleasant surprise to learn this morning that I have been named the winner of your limerick contest! I do look forward to receiving your prize and will send you my address later today after I finish watching two men with big machinery remove a large maple tree from my front yard. I would say "it was nothing" but it actually was hard work and also proves that wasting time also can be a lot of fun.
ReplyDeleteAlways happy to encourage the wasting of time! Congratulations again.
Delete