Sunday, 12 February 2017

An anniversary

Twenty-five years ago today, my husband died. We have marked it by sending flowers to his grave (sadly, too far for us to travel), and by thinking about him.

One of the many hard things about losing a partner is that there is only one of you left to hold all those memories that were once shared. Here, just for him, are just a few of the things I remember:

The way you wooed me with a heart-shaped Valentine arrangement of fresh snowdrops, sent through the post.
How soon afterwards we spent Easter in the Yorkshire Dales, and you wrote me a poem afterwards.
How we married just five months to the day after our first date, which shocked my poor grandmother.
Our 2000 mile honeymoon round Europe in your leaky MG.
The hours we spent gazing in sheer astonishment at our first baby, because we simply couldn't believe we had produced this perfect, home-made human being.
The way you put up with my moods.
That catastrophic elderflower wine (what was that dark cloud that formed in the middle of the jar? In the end, we had to mix it with lemonade to make it drinkable).
The way I put up with your insatiable need to create things, from an observatory (which took months and even nights to complete) to a completely new school (which took years, and which is now flourishing).
Your passion for teashops and curries (not necessarily together).
And perhaps most of all, your utter kindness and generosity.

Thank you. For everything.

20 comments:

  1. What a beautiful, heart-warming and inspiring tribute Frances.

    I can identify with the elderflower catastrophe (which in our case blew a hole in the larder wall).

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    1. Thank you Graham. At least out wine only blew a hole in our stomach linings.

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  2. Frances, It sounds as though the book that was your life with your departed husband was a good read, although a shorter story than you would have wished for.

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    1. What a nice thing to say, ER. Thank you.

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  3. Twenty-five years already? Time does fly, doesn't it! It was seven years for me last November, and sometimes it feels as if it happened only yesterday, while at other times it is as if I've been widowed all my adult life.

    Your post is a wonderful tribute to your late husband. I am glad you had such good times together.

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  4. This was so moving, Frances. Such beautiful memories, a wonderful tribute to a husband who comes across as a fascinating and lovely man. I'm so sorry you lost him, while also so glad for you both that you had the good fortune to meet, marry, have your lovely children and enjoy such happy years together. xxx

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    1. Yes - in many ways I was lucky, Joanna.

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  5. What a beautiful tribute to your husband's memory, Frances. Love the fact that you married so quickly which proves how much we need to grasp life and love when it is right.

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    1. We hardly knew each other, Rosemary, but we were lucky.

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  6. A heartfelt message Francis. How lucky you were to have that relationship and what a lovely way to remember him.

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  7. You know how to say a lot in a few words, Frances. And thankfully, thoughts can travel, even in time, even if we can't!

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  8. What a beautiful and moving tribute, Frances xx

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  9. Thank you for sharing those wonderful memories with us, Frances.

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    1. Thank you, Wendy. Blogging is a very good way of just putting down thoughts, though maybe that one was a bit self indulgent...

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