Tuesday, 11 July 2017

Of feet and doormats


This morning, I had a bewildering experience in a hardware shop. Picture the scene. Man in front of me completing his transaction; me behind him queueing with a new doormat (life in the fast lane, eh?).

Man: I'll finish and let this gentleman (me) buy his mat.
Me (hurt): I'm a woman!
Man (apologetically): I was looking at your feet.

These are my feet, above, as exhibited this morning. Do they look like male feet? Please tell me they don't. The woman behind the counter was literally crying with laughter. I was just...crying.

21 comments:

  1. You weren't really crying, were you? To me, your feet look very much like those of a lady on holiday somewhere south. Your nail polish is one I would not expect to see on male feet, as is your choice of lightweight summer footwear. (It is chilly and raining here in North Yorkshire today, so the thought of walking around almost barefoot makes me shiver and put on an extra pair of socks.)

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    1. Meike, it takes more than that to make me cry! Sorry the weather in Yorkshire is letting you down.

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  2. Well, I think they look like lovely lady feet ! Just asked my husband, who was passing by the computer for his opinion, and ended up in a near argument. He knows someone whose wife painted his toenails when he was asleep, so wasn't able to give a " normal answer, but then he rarely does...give a normal answer ! Anyway argument averted......do you have pain in your left leg as your toes are more " scrunched" than on the right. I had a bad knee for years and the second toe on that foot became very bent down! Enjoy your doormat.....is it a nice colour?

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    1. Thank you, Frances. I think my feet just look like that. And I'm loving my doormat (little things etc)!

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  3. Not unless you're Eddie Izzaed, and I don't think even he wears varnish on his toes. There's nowt so queer as folk!

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    1. Or nowt so short-sighted, Maggie. At least, I hope he was short-sighted...

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  4. What the heck? Maybe he has severe mental problems or something. I wouldn't mind one bit, but just walk proudly away in those gorgeous feminine red sandals. You have pretty feet and I love the polish.

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    1. Kay, how kind! Actually my feet are about the only things about my appearance that I quite like. Or I did until yesterday...

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  5. He was so overcome by your charms that he was flustered into senseless babbling. There's one unrequited suiter drowning his sorrows and cursing his own ineptitude tonight. Rock on Frances!

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    1. Of course! That's what it was! Thank you, Frances.

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  6. I think your right big toe is gorgeously feminine.
    I think the bloke was confused by all the MGBGTXYZ nonsense. I have felt rather left out so a few weeks ago decided to self identify as a lavalamp.
    My friend Claire identifies as a lesbian and whilst I haven't found a cure I can moderate the effect of her affliction with the supply of a couple of glasses of wine and a large Jura.

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    1. Ah...my right big toe. I was hoping someone would notice, Adrian.

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    2. We foot fetishists notice such things. A minor imperfection in otherwise perfect symmetry. No worries.

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  7. Wonder what kind of male feet that man is used to seeing - complete with nail polish! Or he was being exceptionally sexist in assuming only women shop in a hardware store.

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    1. You tell me, Rosemary! In the end, he shook my hand and said it had been a pleasure meeting me. I wish I could have said the same...

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  8. I'm afraid that this was to be another of my "Hmmmm" comments. However, having met you (though, until now, never having met your feet sans shoes) I'm not sure how anyone could mistake any part of you whatsoever for a man (with or without shoes).

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    1. PS I rather like your feet (and I don't say that to many people - usually for fear of getting a slap or being thought a bit odd).

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    2. Graham, you're a true gentleman, and having met you, I know that to be the case. As for my feet, I think they're pretty well the only parts of me I'm happy with!

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  9. Sound to me like the kind of man who thinks hardware stores are for men only, and so probably wasn't even looking at all! :)

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    1. Oh good. That makes me feel much better, DT!

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  10. Not unless you're Eddie Izzaed, and I don't think even he wears varnish on his toes.


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