Things I have learnt this week.

1. That a very cheap small black umbrella, when taken out in a storm, ends up battered and broken and resembling a drowned crow.

2. That there are mosquitoes in Devizes. Now. I saw someone buying mosquito repellent.

3. That a joint of beef rescued from the freezer after two years is very tough (although my son-in-law had two helpings)...

4. ...but bought ready-made custard is much nicer than the kind I used to make (but not with beef).

5. That I don't like whiskey any more.

6. That the Scandanavians don't like my new story (they often do like my stories).

7. That a lot of people don't really like turkey, but have it at Christmas anyway. I'm one of them. But I suppose if it were that nice, we'd eat much more of it. I feel the same about mince pies. If they're so delicious, how come we don't eat them all the year round? I make good mince pies, but don't eat them.