The bottom of the kitchen drawer fell out...

...probably under the weight of all this. I am ashamed (and now, publicly shamed) by the contents of this drawer. But you see, all these gleaming (or rusty) objects might come ine useful, and sometimes they even do.

There are at least four corkscrews (fish shaped, one with dear little arms, one of those waiters' ones, and an ancient wooden one of my father's); kebab skewers (we haven't made kebabs since we moved here14 year ago, because Agas don't have grills; and if you look carefully, you will see a small hatchet.

John says this is a cleaver, not a hatchet.  Whatever. We don't use it. But it is his hatchet/cleaver. Why did he buy it (in his single days)? To make chicken stock, says he triumphantly. A hatchet? To make chicken stock? Yes, says he. For chopping off the wings. Ah.

So - if anyone would like a corkscrew, a hatchet, or anything else you can identify from this sorry heap, do please let me know. Meanwhile, the drawer has been taken away for major surgery.