Elderly? Moi?

Apparently 97% of over-65s object to being called elderly, and I can't blame them. It's a horrible expression (as is senior citizen and silver surfer...ugh!). But what's the alternative? It would seem that there's no pleasant word to describe those of us in this position. "Middle-aged" is pretty grim, too, but it does imply there's still fuel in the tank, but we "elderly" have long since reached the summit, and are now free-wheeling down the other side. At speed.

But my Grannie - pictured above with my cousin, and younger than I am now when the photo was taken - now, she was elderly. She was big and bosomy, wore elasticated knee length knickers, her hair always in a bun. She always wore a hat, and never, ever, trousers of any kind. Her hair was grey, and her teeth were not her own (although I never saw her without them). She did little in the way of chores, although I do recall her dead-heading the roses.

None of this was her fault. She was of her generation. But things have changed (thank heavens), and my generation are on the whole different. I wear jeans all the time, have no idea what colour my hair is supposed to be, and possess all my own teeth. I do things she would never have dreamed of doing, and only very occasionally wear a hat. I still can't believe I'm the age I am, and keep checking my birth date, hoping that I've got it wrong.(I haven't).

So. Can anyone think of a better word to describe people who are now classed as elderly? Or do we have to be categorised at all? Any ideas?

Road signs

This lovely sign (the one on the right) appeared on the blog of Broken Biro, and I hope she doesn't mind my pinching it.

It puts me in mind of a letter to the Times ages ago about the Elderly People Crossing sign, which, the writer suggested should mean Beware of Pick-pockets.

Elderly people that play ping pong on horseback

I'm still doing the stats experiment. "In love with a hosre that plays ping pong" has done nicely in the ratings, and since "beware of elderly people" also appears to be a favourite, I thought I'd let the elderly people have a game too. Why not?

Of course, I should be working on my nice new plot, which has Agent's enthusiastic approval (I suspect partly to get me off her back. I know I'm a nightmare client). But I will get down to that later. I will, I will...

And Aliya, (if you're there), get back to your vegetables and leave my ideas alone. Heaven knows, I don't have that many.

Beware of elderly people...

I hate the word "elderly" almost as much as I hate being, well, elderly (I still can't quite believe it. It's one of those things that happen to other people, like marrying Prince Charles or being blown off Ben Nevis). But the icing on the cake has to be this road sign ("Elderly People Crossing", in case you've just landed from planet Zog).

A writer to The Times suggested that it could just as well depict "beware of pick-pockets", and he certainly had a point. But there has to be a better way of portraying older people, hasn't there? I mean, not only is it deeply insulting; it's soooooo sad. And they could at least be standing up straight.