Saturday, 8 December 2012

"Gifts". A brief guide.

I've come to the conculsion that anything labeled "gift" is a definite no-no, especially if it comes from a Gift Department. "Gifts" are things that are bought by the desperate for the ungrateful. They are things that you don't need. If you needed them, you would (probably) already have them. If they smell, then it won't be the smell you like. If they're confectionary, you don't want them because they'll make you fat or they're the wrong sort. And if they're culinary-related (lie those extraordinary bottles of oil with what look like trees growing in them) they won't fit in with what you cook.

Here are a few of the things not to give:

FOR MEN
Silly ties. They won't wear them. In fact, avoid silly anything.
Anything smelly. Ditto.
Socks (nuff said).
Hankies. Most of them use tissues.

FOR WOMEN
Anything smelly (they know what they like, and you probably don't).
ANYTHING  for the kitchen (how could you even think of it?).
Aprons (ditto).
Tea towels (DITTO!).
Diaries (they've already bought one).
Calendars (yes. You can have too many calendars).
Poinsettias (they're horrible. Plus, they always die).

I hope this helps?

(PS If any of my family read this, I'd LOVE a leather head collar for my lovely new horse. Just thought I'd mention it.)

24 comments:

  1. Print this out and stick it on the door of every department store, or better still, hand it out as a leaflet to shoppers on the street
    thanks for sharing
    martine

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  2. I LOVE that line "bought by the desperate for the ungrateful." Great post - but I do like getting lots of calendars I'm afraid x

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    1. Teresa, what do you DO with lots of calendars?

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  3. Umm, I actually am one of those people who really like receiving gifts such as confectionary (if there is marzipan in it, my Dad will be happy to help getting rid of them), cooking oil with special ingredients in them (too expensive for me to buy for everyday use) and scented body lotion (I use copious amounts of body lotion daily).
    And RJ loves ties (he has well over 100 of them, some of which I have helped choosing). BUT I have never given anyone hankies or tea towels. I hope that rehabilitates me at least a little bit :-)

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    1. Consider yourself rehabilitated, Meike!

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  4. I rather like poinettias but I am a bit odd. (Gary calls them pointless-settiers.)

    I do agree though that anything labelled 'novelty gift' or 'unusual gift solution' etc is unlikely to be just what the recipient was hoping for.

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    1. Perhaps it's just that I can't keep poinsettias alive...

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  5. There's nothing material I want or need (short of a Mercedes SL), so every gift I get is gratefully received as just that and nothing more. Someone has given, and that's all that counts.

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    1. But when you've duly apreciated it, what do you do with it, Tim?

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    2. If I'm lucky, eat or drink it.

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  6. I can't abide tissues unless I have a streaming cold and use at least two handkerchiefs a day - usually for wiping my eyes which stream a lot if there is any cold air or wind around (and I live in New Zealand and the Hebrides!). Have you tried to buy 'proper' men's handkerchiefs? It is almost impossible. The cheap things masquerading as handkerchiefs even in M&S are little better than tissues. If anyone bought me proper ones (I can't repeat handkerchiefs again) for any occasion I would be happier than a - very happy person.

    So far as gifts are concerned I have two other comments.

    How is it that very polite children brought up to do all the correct things seem to have lost the ability to even say thank you for a present never mind write a letter or even send an email or a text or a Facebook message or any one of the other means at their disposal? I stopped sending some children presents because I never even knew if they received them.

    The other echoes what Tim said. I love it that someone has spent the time and effort to send me a present. Mind you I seem to be fortunate in that music and books make up many of my gifts and I love those and some of my friends have a wonderful knack of giving me things which will mean something intrinsically for as long as I live.

    Oh. A third thing. I loathe having to give presents to order ie for Christmas and birthdays. I love spontaneity. I love seeing something and thinking that would be wonderful for X or knowing someone needs something but perhaps can't justify (or afford) it at that moment when I can.

    Gosh. I think this comment might be longer than your post. Oops.







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    1. Why am I not surprised learning that you much prefer hankies to tissues, Graham?
      And you are so right about ungrateful recipients. My Mum always wonders about her parcels going to friends and relatives all around the globe and not hearing from them. I think she should stop sending to some of these people.

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    2. I so agree about spontaneous present giving. Much better. As for thank you letters, they sadly seem to be going out of fashion. Sometimes I don't even know whether a gift has arrived at all.

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  7. I happen to love poinsettias, but no longer get them out of concern that my cats might nibble on them. I like the confections and tea towels, too. But what do I know? As a kid, I was happy to get new undies for Christmas...

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    1. Do cats eat poinsettias? Now I know what to do with any that come my way! Thanks, Susan.

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  8. I was thrilled with my Chanukah presents - an everyday watch and some pieces wood (wrapped beautifully) for a project I have in mind.

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  9. Poinsettia made one Christmas very difficult for us. My eldest daughter was four and developed a an awful, painful rash. We thought it was chickenpox as that had been going round the village and she missed all the parties and nativity as a result.

    It kept worsening until a doctor discovered the poinsettia preening its Christmasy leaves at us from the dining-table was the culprit. She had a huge allergic reaction to it that began to improve the moment we threw the plant out. I've given them a wide berth ever since and she walks in a wide circle round the clusters of them in the supermarket.

    I agree about the other gifts too, although my daughters do like calendars. But not with any pictures of red-leaved plants on them.

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    1. Where DO all the poinsettias go? You never see them after Christmas!

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  10. All presents gratefully received, thank you very much.

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  11. What a very gracious woman you are, Maggie!

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