Saturday 26 April 2014

I absolutely ache...

...for the mother who appears to have killed her three small disabled children. She was apparently a devoted mum, who gave up her job to care for them. She had gone ahead with having the younger ones (twins)with whom she was pregnant when the elder one was diagnosed, although she was told that it was genetic. She seems to have done all the right things until (it would seem) she must have reached breaking point. These children were wheelchair bound and tube fed, and needed round the clock care. Their future was bleak. She must have been at her wits' end to do what she did, and now she will have to live with that for the rest of her life.

I have a disabled sister. Her future turned out to be good, largely due to her huge determination and astonishingly posive attitude, but I remember what a strain that put on our parents, and how much (to my shame) I resented the amount of attention she was given, when we were children. And there was only one of her. And she was eventually able to lead an independent life. The lot of this poor woman was unimaginably worse.

I feel uncomfortable about the mawkish placing of flowers and teddies outside the home of this family - a custom that has become increasingly popular, especially since the death or Princess Diana -but I hope they were placed as much in sympathy with the mother as sadness over her children's deaths.

She's going to need it.

15 comments:

  1. One would be hard enough. How would you handle three without landing in the asylum? I, too, feel uncomfortable with the placing of flowers and stuffed animals, etc. like that. It's like the commemorations set up on public roadsides and corners where there has been an accident. I'm sorry,but that's why we have cemeteries.

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    1. I suppose at best, the flowers show some kind of solidarity. At worst...well, mis-place sentimentality.

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  2. I cannot even begin to imagine what this poor mother was going through or how desperate she must have become. To see your children suffering and to know there is no hope and only worse to come, just awful x

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  3. It is unimaginably awful. What a predicament. She did the right thing and I hope anyone who says differently is given a lobotomy. As for the flower heaps idiots have to do something to differentiate themselves from normal folk.
    The case needs throwing out of court but it seems to be a bit late for that.

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    1. I suppose the legal system has to pay lip service to the fact that murder is a crime, but I hope that's all it does, Adrian.

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  4. People are, on the whole, incredibly judgemental: the first to throw stones and the last to help. (This seems to be a theme on your posts since I quoted John 8:1-11 on your post The Writing on the Wall. I don't believe that anyone who hasn't had to deal with what that woman had to deal with can even begin to understand what it must have been like. I suspect she was living in hell and I suspect she will now be confined to hell on earth by her deeds and the consequences which will be meted out. I feel a great sadness for her.

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  5. I'm certain that any judge, who's involved in her case, will be sympathetic. When the story first broke we were all horrified, but when the finer details were released I think most of us changed our minds. She must have been desperate.

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    1. I would hate to be that judge, CM. What a job.

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  6. My heart went out to her the minute I read the details. I doubt if she was getting much help. It sounds as if her husband was rarely there too. She needs love and compassion not prison.

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  7. My first thought was for that poor mum. No one can know what she was going through.

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    1. You're right, Maggie. But judging from the comments after this post, a lot of us are trying to understand.

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  8. This mother should receive the best psychiatric care the medical system can provide, to help her live with the ghastly guilt she must be carrying.
    She should not go to prison, but should have round-the-clock care until she feels well again, no matter how long it takes. She will never fully recover, we all know that, but she might be able to live again.
    K

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