There's a dog turd in Thames Ditton,
And it's there because of me.
I thought two poo bags quite enough,
But found we needed three.
And if anybody's hoping
That the culprit apologises,
I'm afraid you've got a long wait
As I've gone home to Devizes.
I'm not a dog person, but spent the weekend looking after two dogs and two children. Yesterday, off we set for a walk, leaving the poo bags on the kitchen table (first mistake). Realised what we'd done, and borrowed carrier bag from the green grocer*, and poo bag from another dog owner. Two would be enough, right? Two dogs, one poo each. No. Wrong (second mistake). One poo for Humphrey, but two for Geoffrey. I pleaded with him to hang on, but apparently a dog's gotta poo when (and where) a dog's gotta poo (in the street, of course. Not some obscure alley or grassy verge).
I just hope no-one's trodden in it.
*he didn't want it back. What a nice man.
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When I was walking my sons's dog, he always did more than one poo. Luckily if I ran out of bags, we were near enough to the bushes, so was able to hide it. Love the little ditty in Ditton.
ReplyDeleteI reckoned that hiding it was worse. At least if you can see it, you can avoid it...?
DeleteI do like you poems. Luckily out in the countryside we have no use for plastic bags, but in town they are essential. Good to hear you're a two thirds responsible citizen!
ReplyDeleteI'll try to,do better next time, Cro.
DeleteFrances, the times it happens to me. I'd have your rhyme printed and put on a little stick to stick in the turd.
ReplyDeleteI bet you are pleased you don't have to clean up after horses.
Alf despite three dumps will always find another for a shop doorway. You have got to hit them. Specially if it's Waitrose.
Horse poo is copious, but inoffensive. It's a close call.
DeleteWhen I used to ride horses, people would come out of their houses with shovels to scoop up the dung for their roses! So they positively LOVED it when the horses pooped! Dogs (and I have one), now that's a different matter. Better leave it though, than to put it in a bag and hang it from a bush. What's all that about?!
ReplyDeleteWe were always in a park area so he conveniently did it in the bushes or undergrowth. Sorry if I confused you Helen.
DeleteHi, Helen. Yes the hanging from bushes thing is just plain weird. A good deed followed by a nasty one.
DeleteLove your poetic view of poo!
ReplyDeleteI once had a poo bag shortage on a walk with three dogs and was left trying to cram something that looked as if it had been deposited by an elephant into an already half full bag with the three dogs all trying to go in different directions. I'm still traumatised and it happened years ago! :-) x
Teresa, that conjures up such a marvellous picture!
DeleteEven the best organised of dog owners has this problem occasionally…..dashing out at the last minute and totally forget to check pockets! Luckily it has only happened to me a couple of times……depends on the poo consistency as to whether or not a paper hanky will suffice!
ReplyDeletePS Another great poem!
ReplyDeleteFrances, I did contemplate the paper hanky thing, but only very briefly. I just couldn't bring myself...
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