Saturday, 15 August 2015

Technical-speak v naked stupidity

There are certain times in my life when, listening to someone explaining something, a kind of curtain comes down, like a safety curtain at the theatre. On this is written, in bold letters:

        I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS

And whatever the other person is saying turns into a kind of auditory mush. It's usually computer-speak. This morning, it was banking.

So.  I went into my bank, wanting to transfer some money from one account to another. A nice young man was helping me.

NYM (indicating a bank card): is this a debit or credit card?
Me: mmm....we're never quite sure (true)
NYM: because if it is....black blah....long number....blah....you might not be able...blah...
Me: could you repeat that, please?
NYM: of course. Sort code...blah...short number...blah...customer account...blah...
Me (feeling really, really stupid, and quite unbelievably bored): I bet you're glad there's not a queue behind me (not funny, but I felt I ought to say something to show him I was still alive)
NYM (smiling thinly): all you have to do...blah...transfer...blah...PIN....blah...Shall I do it for you?
Me: yes please!
NYM: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. There. All done.
Me: thank you. Grovel grovel grovel.
NYM: you're welcome blah blah blah.....

Phew. Out again into the sunshine. I'll never make a banker.

16 comments:

  1. I spent quite a while (on line) this morning trying to transfer a large amount of money into my wife's account at a different bank to my own (I'm nice like that). Just when I was beginning to have faith in digital banking it woke me up with the news that I needed some plastic card reading device to continue. I was so close, but at the last moment they slipped a banana skin under my feet. Dontcha love em.

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  2. I love those words, "Shall I do it for you?" when that curtain descends. Glad it's not just me xx

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    1. Oh good! Another woman with a curtain!

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  3. Frances, if you get an on line account I will do a tutorial for you. In fact I probably don't need to as the banks have probably already done several.

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    1. Yes. Ad I didn't understand them. It's sooooo boring, Adrian...

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  4. There was a time when it was the teller's job at the bank to do it for you. That's why they are there. But now we are expected to do everything ourselves. That's why we don't do online banking. Just hope our local branch stays open.

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    1. Actually, the local branch people are very nice. But I did once go for advice, and the manager spent half an hour telling me all about his son, who was doing research into insects on some forest floor.

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  5. There's nothing like a youngster to make you feel a twit.

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  6. His mum probably has to tie his shoelaces for him though.

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  7. I know that theatre curtain so well, Frances, that I can actually smell it. xxx

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    1. What I want to know is, how do you get rid of it? I'm seriously tired of feeling stupid, Joanna!

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  8. Frances you know you are not stupid: anything but that. You say that you want to stop 'feeling' stupid but you're just too lazy to do anything about it! I read this last night and wasn't going to post a comment but I woke this morning thinking about you so I've just said it as it is.

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    Replies
    1. Graham, you're right. You know me too well (in a cyber kind of way).

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