Just the two, but they could just bring in a bit more than writing.
1. Fluorescent dog food. This will emerge from the other end of the dog as luminous turds, which glow in the dark (we live in a lane beloved of the irresponsible owners of incontinent dogs. The lighting is poor, and the turds lurk unseen. This make me furious.)
2. A new company: waiting-in.com. A very reliable person, with blameless references, will sit in your house and wait in for the gas man/new boiler/Jehovah's Witnesses* or whatever while you go out to work/play tennis/ride a horse. For a bit extra, the blameless person might even do the ironing.
What do you think?
*We had two of those yesterday, which was spooky, as I'd dreamt they were coming. I told them exactly what I'd told them in my dream (which had served as a kind of rehearsal).
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Both are extremely (sp?) good ideas!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Libby. And perfect spelling!
DeleteVery amusing Frances. But it's not going to happen. I think you must be a bit psychic.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, Maggie. But lottery numbers would be more useful.
DeleteJust curious: Did you also tell them that you had dreamt about them coming?
ReplyDeleteYes. But I think they saw this as a Sign, and were rather pleased.
DeleteUnscooped-poop drives me crazy too. I always feel that the reflected blame tarnishes all dog owners.
ReplyDeleteThey already bred gold fish that glow in the dark, so why not?
Dog-lovers would undoubtedly object, ER. And it might make their pets glow in the dark, too (actually, why not?).
DeleteCan't remember when, but I am quite sure you've come up with the waiting-in idea before.
ReplyDeleteThat would be a great job opportunity for many people who would like to work but know the classic 9-to-5 at some office is not for them.
I'm sure I have, Meike. But it's still a good idea!
DeleteIndeed it is!
DeleteWhat great ideas. When are you starting up your "waiting in" business? Ideal for bored retired people to do….get them out to a different 4 walls for a while! Please tell what you said to the Jehovahs. ( Can't decide if that needs an apostrophe s or not. In one sense it is plural, but in another it is a shortened form which would need the apostrophe…problems, problems !)
ReplyDeleteIt's Jehova's, Frances (possessive). It's the witnesses who are pleural (too pleural, in my opinion).
DeleteWell, I told them the truth. We're Christians, and regular attenders at our local church. I said yes, I knew all about the Good News, thank you. I told them I might listen to them if they actually got out there and did some good (like the Salvation Army) rather than standing around on doorsteps and preaching at the unconvertible. I finished by quoting Jesus: "in my Father's house there are many mansions." I told them they had their mansion, and I had mine. They then gave up and left.
But I do wish they wouldn't call me "dear". It's so bloody patronising. But I wasn't rude.
I rather admire your approach to the JWs. I have found that reason as a first approach is pointless so you must have a more persuasive manner than I have. Alternatively you had more reasonable or compliant JWs. The last person who appeared at my door selling religion did so just as I was about to leave for NZ a few years ago. I said that I had no time for a salesman at that moment. He immediately said he wasn't selling anything. I responded that selling a religion was no different from selling anything else and closed the door. When I opened it again to put my cases in the car he was still standing there looking puzzled. He didn't even look at me. And that's where he was when I left.
ReplyDeleteIs he still there, Graham? You were lucky to get just the one. They usually come in twos.
DeleteThat is very strange - the dream. The fluorescent dog food is an excellent idea!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jenny. The worry would be that you might end up with a fluorescent dog...
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