Just the two, but they could just bring in a bit more than writing.
1. Fluorescent dog food. This will emerge from the other end of the dog as luminous turds, which glow in the dark (we live in a lane beloved of the irresponsible owners of incontinent dogs. The lighting is poor, and the turds lurk unseen. This make me furious.)
2. A new company: waiting-in.com. A very reliable person, with blameless references, will sit in your house and wait in for the gas man/new boiler/Jehovah's Witnesses* or whatever while you go out to work/play tennis/ride a horse. For a bit extra, the blameless person might even do the ironing.
What do you think?
*We had two of those yesterday, which was spooky, as I'd dreamt they were coming. I told them exactly what I'd told them in my dream (which had served as a kind of rehearsal).