Graham has kindly (?) mentioned in a recent post my adventures on and off horses. What I suspect he doesn't know is that one of the most painful kinds of horsey injury is what I call "gate leg". Here is what you need to do to acquire one of these (the photo is of my gate leg incident last week):
1. You are on a horse, which is keen to get home. Find a narrow hunting gate.
2. Open the gate. This needs to be the kind that swings back, and is hard to negotiate.
3. Hold the gate open with one hand, and the reins loosely (too loosely. It's important that you have as little control as possible over the horse) in the other.
4. Line the horse up so that one of your legs is directly aimed at the gatepost. The horse, keen to get home (see above) will shoot through the gateway, secure in the knowledge that he at least will get clear.
5. Your leg slams directly into the gatepost, at speed.
6. Voila! You have a gate leg. Arnica helps, but only time will heal....
OOooh looks painful!
ReplyDeleteLibby, it was excruciating!
DeleteThat looks so painful! xx
ReplyDeleteIt's okay now, Teresa, but not at the time!
DeleteOuch!
ReplyDeleteOuch indeed, ER. Have you tried it??
DeleteThank you for providing us with such detailed instructions, Frances. Should I ever feel like getting a gate leg myself, I'll know what to do :-O
ReplyDeleteAnd if you were nearer, you could borrow my horse, Meike. I'll even show you the exact gate. But I don't recommend it.
DeleteNext to try is tree leg. You need a bit of speed for that one and to notice at the last moment that there's a rabbit hole or similar to one side. Realising that this poses a danger to the horse you must quickly steer to pass on the opposite side - or rather the horse and most of your body goes by the tree.
ReplyDeleteIf you can ensure the leg is bent you'll create a unique and intricate patella jigsaw as an added bonus.
Actually don't try it. I've seen it happen and it didn't seem to be quite as much fun as it sounds.
DeleteAnd I thought I'd tried everything, Patsy. But I think I'll give it a miss, thank you.
DeleteThe only horse I would consider using as transport is something like a Clydesdale. They are gentle and intelligent as horses go.
ReplyDeleteAdrian, mine is gentle and fairly intelligent. But horses don't allow for their riders' legs on these occasions. Sadly.
DeleteNot exactly what I said at the time, Wendy. I'll leave that to your imagination...
ReplyDeleteIs horse riding classed as a dangerous sport? Maybe riding gear should be upgraded so you have all limbs covered with extra padding?
ReplyDeleteIt is by my children, Maggie, but it depends on the horse and what you use it for. Most fatalities are caused by a horse catching it's front feet on a fence and somersaulting over onto the rider. My horse refused to jump at all!
DeleteWow - that looks nasty and painful!
ReplyDeleteIt actually looks worse than it is now, Rosemary, but it was very painful at the time!
DeleteOh heavens Frances. I missed the post (no pun intended) because I was in Glasgow at the time (I know that's a non sequitur but it's the best reason I can come up with). I am not a worrier but if I had family who rode I think I could become one. As it is I feel concerned every time I think about you on a horse and as for the gate leg my blood runs cold when I think about it. Heaven knows how you must feel.
ReplyDeletePS I'm sorry I forgot to say that I hope you are on the mend now.
DeleteThank you kindly, Graham. I think the worst bit is that nanosecond when you know you're going to cop it, and it's going to hurt a lot, and you're just about to find out how much. And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. The bruise is coming on nicely; sort of yellowish green now.
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