Monday 2 January 2017

My theory of the last chocolate biscuit

John and I were discussing the nature of selfishness ( as you do), and I realised something. The selfish person isn't the one who takes the last chocolate biscuit*, because no one takes the last chocolate biscuit. No. The really selfish person is the one who takes the last but one chocolate biscuit in the knowledge that since nobody will be bold enough to take the very last chocolate biscuit, this is, in effect, the last one. Thus the wily selfish person has done a selfish thing, but leaves without a stain on his character (but with a delicious chocolate biscuit), because what he's done is fine, isn't it? Meanwhile, the last chocolate biscuit remains in splendid isolation on its crummy plate, safe in the knowledge that no one will be greedy enough to eat it (at least, in public).

Well, that's my theory, anyway. Happy new year!

*This also applies to the last smoked salmon sandwich.

20 comments:

  1. Is the person who supplied the chocolate biscuits but hid their own personal stash unselfish or selfish?

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  2. I'd eat the last one and, assuming everyone else had already had the chance to eat some themselves, I wouldn't feel the slightest bit guilty.

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    1. I have to admit, I admire your courage, Patsy.

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  3. You certainly have a point there, Frances! By the way, I usually am one of those people who have no problem with taking the very last biscuit (or sandwich, as long as it isn't with salmon). I am a confessing full-time egoist.

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  4. I was forced to eat the last chocolate digestive this morning. There was nothing else available for breakfast.
    Are the latest (several)generations of children even taught not to grab all the biscuits?

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    1. No, they're not, ER. I said to a grandson recently that he'd know when he was finally grown up when he didn't grab the biggest piece of cake. They even sqabble over the biggest chocolate biscuit.

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  5. Quite right! and a happy new year.

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  6. Having just eaten the last two chocolate biscuits in the tin, I can't really comment.

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  7. What about the teenage boys who have no compunction about eating the last chocolate biscuit and just to prove it leave the empty packet in the cupboard?

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  8. I'd eat the last chocolate biscuit... oh yes I would.

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  9. Replies
    1. My followers all seem to be chocolate biscuit addicts, Rosemary!

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  10. I missed this post. Would I eat the last chocolate biscuit? It depends on so many factors (I'm sure you'd expect me to say that). If, however, I decided there were no ladies who wanted it (I'm sorry but if I didn't give it to a lady first I'd be haunted by my Mother) I'd offer it around and probably take it whilst everyone else was trying to decide.

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