A catalogue of inventions

Today, we received one of those little catalogues full of things you never thought you needed. There are, among other,things, a 'long reach lotion applicator' for applying cream to your back, and bullet-proof nail varnish. Past catalogues of this ilk have included such necessities as a personalised gear stick cover and a bewildering little trolley for wheeling your house plants from one room to another.

Does anyone actually buy these things? Apart from the numerous appliances for removing 'unwanted hair' (these publications are always much exercised over the problem of unwanted hair, so there must be a lot of it about), who in their right mind would contemplate making a purchase? Take the trolley. Presumably if someone is fit enough to convey a plant onto the trolley, it would be a lot easier for them just to carry it. And the nail varnish. If I were unfortunate enough to find myself under fire, my nails are arguably the part of me I would mind about least. Bullet-proof face cream or shampoo, perhaps. But nail varnish?

In little sheds and workshops all over the world there must be mad inventors creating gaps in the market and then trying to fill them. When there are real problems to be solved (like how to prevent duvet covers from swallowing up everything else in the washing machine), I suspect that most of them are wasting their time