Today, we received one of those little catalogues full of things you never thought you needed. There are, among other,things, a 'long reach lotion applicator' for applying cream to your back, and bullet-proof nail varnish. Past catalogues of this ilk have included such necessities as a personalised gear stick cover and a bewildering little trolley for wheeling your house plants from one room to another.
Does anyone actually buy these things? Apart from the numerous appliances for removing 'unwanted hair' (these publications are always much exercised over the problem of unwanted hair, so there must be a lot of it about), who in their right mind would contemplate making a purchase? Take the trolley. Presumably if someone is fit enough to convey a plant onto the trolley, it would be a lot easier for them just to carry it. And the nail varnish. If I were unfortunate enough to find myself under fire, my nails are arguably the part of me I would mind about least. Bullet-proof face cream or shampoo, perhaps. But nail varnish?
In little sheds and workshops all over the world there must be mad inventors creating gaps in the market and then trying to fill them. When there are real problems to be solved (like how to prevent duvet covers from swallowing up everything else in the washing machine), I suspect that most of them are wasting their time
Sunday, 27 February 2011
A catalogue of inventions
Posted by Frances Garrood at 16:53
Labels: catalogues, inventions
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They are amazing aren't they - I'd not seen the bullet proof nail varnish. Presumably there are a lot of hirsute people who need bullet proof nails and can't carry pot plants!ReplyDelete
If the bullet proof nail varnish comes out in a camouflage pattern, can you order me a dozen bottles?ReplyDelete
Hi, Teresa. You're probably right!ReplyDelete
Patsy - will do. And the outfit to match?
Ah, the little catalogues of things you've never heard of, have managed perfectly well without all your life but are suddenly supposed to find indispensable - mad, aren't they?ReplyDelete
I always enjoy these catalogues of misapplied ingenuity.ReplyDelete
I once bought a "spider catcher" from this source. It was a clear plastic tube with a tiny motor at one end, and was predictably ineffective. The old-fashioned "cup and card" approach still rules for unwanted arachnids, if not unwanted hair.
Hi, Alis. Yes - but there's apparently money to be made, and it might make a lucrative alternative to writing?ReplyDelete
Tim, you wuss! You mean you can't just pick up a spider?
I prefer to avoid the noisome contact...ReplyDelete
I once bought some tumble drier balls and a banana hook from one of those catalogues.ReplyDelete
Tumble dryer balls are brilliant!ReplyDelete
What do tumble dryer balls do, exactly? Apart from rattle, that is.ReplyDelete
In my experience they make the clothes softer and less creased.ReplyDelete
I'm not sure if they reduce drying times which is the other main claimed benefit.
My mom's always ordered odds and ends from those catalogs. Often times the purpose for the device ends up being something other than what the inventor intended, but she's a great re-purposer and these gizmos and gimmicks offer a fertile field for that kind of thing.ReplyDelete
Oh, Nevets! You're back!ReplyDelete
Anyway, see if your mom can think of another use for Tim's device for sucking up spiders. Then let him know, would you. I hate to see things going to waste.