Trial by media

I am absolutely appalled at the treatment of Kevin Spacey and others in the press and other media in the latest spate of sex accusations. What have we come to? Whatever happened to innocent until proved guilty? "Sleazy Spacey" was the Sun's headline, and even the Times had a front page photo and half page spread.

Now, I have no idea whether or not he's guilty, but whatever the final verdict, the affect on his career, his life and his family will be devastating, as it will be with Fallon et al. And of course, if they are found to be guilty, they must pay the price. But what if they're innocent?

Meanwhile, "unnamed" individuals come forward with more accusations, for their anonymity is of course protected. I am no defender of sexual offenders. In my many years of counselling, I came across a great number of people who had been seriously sexually abused, and many cases were quite heart-rending; lives and relationships destroyed for ever. But it is because crimes such as these are so serious that we should be very careful about how we treat suspects before they are convicted.

As for the lesser offences, is there any woman alive who hasn't  had an uninvited male hand on her knee? (I have, and worse).  Very unpleasant, I agree, but hardly on the same level as sexual abuse. And it's usually perfectly possible to move away.

What constitutes sexual assault?

With the recent flood of sexual assault cases - ageing public figures often dragged out years after the event, and publicly pilloried - I can't help wondering how many of these accusations are true.

Before anyone jumps to the defence of the victims, let me say that I have counselled countless adults still suffereing the effects of childhood abuse. One was so horrific that when I returned home, I wept for her. I am neither heartless nor cynical. But. Could it just be the some people are jumping on a rolling bandwagon? Could this be a dangerous trend? It seems to me that soon, we will be counting the celebrities who haven't abused children or (or adults), rather than those who have. Are all these claims genuine? And how on earth can they be proved, years after the event?

I am not defending the abusers; far from it. And I know that sex abuse has always been more prevalent than most realise (at any one time, my caseload included at least one man or woman who had suffered in this way, and the effects were often devastating). But (back to my original question) what exactly does constitute sexual abuse? I was kissed inappropriately at least twice as a child, and in my teens I spent a terrifying few days staying with family friends, where the wife went away and her notoriously randy husband chased me round the kitchen table trying to fondle me (and no doubt more. I escaped and hitchhiked all the way home in a lorry).

Two questions, then. Firstly, can all these claims really be true (personally, I have no idea). And secondly what is assault? A kiss? A grope? A pat? Or does it have to be more?

Perhaps the answer lies in the effect on the victim, rather than the intent of the perpetrator. What does anyone else think?