Friday, 30 September 2011

Being invisible

A Serbian beggar, fed up with being ignored, has apparently taken to placing his cap and shoes on the pavement, together with a sign saying "invisible beggar" (fair enough, although I think that "hungry, homeless and invisible" might have been even more poignant). But it's working, for nowadays he sits in the cafe opposite and watches the cap fill up with money.

This is an inspired idea. We've all come across the invisible policemen (most of them, especially when you need one), and the invisible train manager who makes unintelligible announcements from the region of the ceiling, and the invisible traffic warden, who manages to stick a notice to your car windscreen in the time it takes to nip out and buy a packet of Polos, although you never see him.

What invisible job would you like? I think I'd like to be the invisible writer in residence at some very prestigious seat of learning. I would, of course, consent to become visible, on request.

11 comments:

  1. The thought of being an invisible doctor appeals rather. But on the other hand I might do better if I got a parrot and stood it on a perch in the consulting room. It couldn't do much worse than I do.

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  2. Being an invisible member of the Cabinet might be fun - but they have so many of those at the moment I can't imagine that there would be a vacancy for another.

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  3. I'd like to be an invisible fashion model. That way I'd earn loads of money and nobody would realise I wasn't a size zero.

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  4. Author Doc - you could just get an invisible parrot? One that would specialise in anwering those queries that start: "and while I'm here, doctor..."

    Alan, that's a great idea! Then you could tell us all what they're really up to.

    Patsy, I suppose an invisible model really would be a size zero, wouldnt she?

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  5. I'd like to be invisible so I could listen in to other people's conversations without getting funny looks, so perhaps an invisible waitress - but I seem to have reached the age where I am invisible anyway to many people.

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  6. You're right, Frances - hadn't thought of that!

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  7. Teresa, that would be really spooky. Imagine a tray of food arriving with no visible means of support? You'd hardly go unnoticed, I'm afraid.

    Patsy, just think. You'd be able to fit into a tiny, tiny wedding dress!

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  8. I discovered the secret of invisibility years ago. I just get on my bike and go out on the roads.

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  9. Marvellous! I'd like to be an invisible vigilante, and wander freely with an invisible truncheon, whacking louts across their real-life shins for anything I considered to be unsociable behaviour.

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  10. Keith - now mind how you go!

    A man called Valance - do I detect
    a violent streak? Ts ts

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