One of the problems with having a name like mine is that I am often taken to be a man, and as such can be subject to man spam. This must happen to (for example) Lesleys and Chrises as well, and it's infuriating. So in case the people who advertise the above happen to be reading this, please accept, finally, that I don't want a bigger penis. Or, come to that, any kind of penis. I'm a woman. Frances, not Francis. Got that? I'M A WOMAN!
On the other hand, if you've got something that will...oh, never mind.