Yep. That's right. All those extra calories we're supposed to consume over the festive season. And to help us control our urges, The Times today gives lots of helpful hints. For example, dark chocolate isn't so bad, so if you're soooo tempted by the office chocolates, keep a bar of it handy in your desk drawer "to nibble on" instead. And eschew the office mince pie, because it's got shedloads of calories; just don't even glance in its direction. Move your desk and face the wall if necessary. Helpful, eh? And if you're at a party where there are canapes, heaven help you, for those are FULL of calories. The Times helpfully tells us just how full, and how to avoid them. And if you're tempted by one of those tiny little Yorkshre puddings with beef in them, well, just peel off the pudding and eat the beef. Voila! Who would have thought of that? As for drink, well, we won't even touch on the calorific evils of alcohol.
Feeling festive now, are you? I've never really got this don't-eat-too-much-at-Christmas thing, because while personally I don't, I really can't see any reason why those who want to shouldn't. After all, while it may feel as though Christmas lasts for ever, we all know that it doesn't, and no-one is going to grow obese in a week. And if by any chance they do, there will be an equally helpful article in the new year on how to get slim again.
You read it first here.
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Frances, thank you for making me laugh out loud! What would people be doing, really, without all those "helpful" articles in magazines and newspapers?! Here's to Christmas Calories!!! (Raising my glass full of a very creamy, coconutty cocktail that has about the same amount of calories as a 3-course-dinner)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Frances. Like Librarian, I am laughing out loud. Possibly far more than I shall laugh on Christmas Day with the stress of all those low-calorie sprouts to peel.
ReplyDeleteDo sprouts need peeling in fact?
I read a double page spread on coping strategies when faced with a plate of festive snacks. It's madness - if we don't want to eat something we can just not eat it. If we do want to eat the item, we should enjoy it without reaching for a calculator to see what damage we've done.
ReplyDeleteKeep drinking that cocktail, Librarian. It'll build you up for the new year.
ReplyDeleteJoanna, buy ready-peeled sprouts. It's worth it, I promise.
Patys, I absolutely agrre. What bit of "festive" don't these pontificating idiots understand?
Exactly! They're called "treats" for a reason, aren't they? And now Librarian has me craving something cool and creamy. I think there's some eggnog in the 'frig....
ReplyDeleteHope you enjoyed your eggnog, I'm Crayon :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm Crayon - I've never been quite sure what an eggnog is, but I hope it's wonderfully satisfying (and calorific)!
ReplyDeleteWho said 'a moment on the lips is a mountain on the hips' (or I may have just made that one up). Having just lost a hillock or too,I am much more careful about what I eat. I don't want to have to climb down from that mountain any time soon.
ReplyDeleteMaggie May, Rome (or a hillock) wasn't built in a day (or even a week), so you can afford to reolax a little. And as I said, think of all those wonderful articles on how to lose hillocks. They're already being planned for after Christmas, so you'll have plenty of advice!
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