Monday, 25 June 2012

Do we really need balls?

Of the sporting variety, naturally. Having finished with the (English) footie, we are now into Wimbledon, and then the Olympics, which although not all about balls is sure to feature quite a few. What would sporty people do if balls had never been invented? Run about and jump over things, no doubt. Ever higher and faster.

Once upon a time, someone ( who?) made a small round thing and either threw it or kicked it to someone else. Why?

I do not like balls. If I see one coming at me, there's a part of my brain that says: Missile! Avoid and/or duck. Both, if possible. I cannot catch a ball or hit one ( many have hit me). I do not enjoy watching other people throwing and hitting and kicking. Is there something wrong with me? Does one have to enjoy balls and ball games to be fully human? And am I alone in being totally bewildered by the rules of cricket, rugby scrums and the offside rule?

Last of all, is there anyone else out there who can live without balls? If so, please let me know. I think I'm in for a rather lonely summer...

24 comments:

  1. Sure, I could live without balls. (the sporting kind, of course) But some of our grandchildren are into sports, so I'd darned well better enjoy whatever sport it is they're playing, and grin and catch whatever kind of ball they happen to toss me. And I must admit an unabashed love of those colorful little squishy balls that seem to serve no particular purpose other than to feel good when you squeeze them.

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    1. I'd forgotten the squeezy balls! We can keep them ( so long as nobody starts throwing them).

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  2. The balls used in the game of golf are, of course, the worst kind of balls. They neither feel squishy when you hold them, nor do they have a friendly personality.
    No, I don't think I like balls either.

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    1. You're right, Jill. A golf ball could do serious damage.

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  3. Like you, a ball coming at me is instinctively seen as a missile, and when I was still at school, I hated ball games. I was always afraid one would hit me in the face and smash my glasses. When I was around 14, I discovered that basketball can be fun; I was tall and fast enough to be of use in a team.
    As for the rules of cricket etc., I honestly couldn't care less!

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    1. Meike, I think the Germans are too sensible to bother with cricket?

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    2. True, cricket is virtually unknown in Germany.

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  4. Because I only have one usable eye I can't play games with moving balls especially when they are coming towards me because I can't judge their position accurately. However croquet has become such an important part of my life I have, on balance, to support the ball camp.

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    1. I have to admit croquet can be fun, GB, if horribly vicious!

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  5. I loathe balls. I was terrified of my glasses, then my contacts, being smashed. I have such poor eyesight without them. I couldn't throw or catch. Other girls at school despaired. They gave up passing the ball to me in netball matches because I ran away from it.
    I was hit on the nose by a hockey-ball and it was never the same after that. (My nose, not the ball. I imagine they're indestructible and when the world ends there will be nothing left but hockey-balls.)
    I was afraid my children would miss out because I wasn't the kind of mother who would always be outside playing catch. However they are all the same as me and my husband. Ball-loathers, every one of them.

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    1. Lucky you, Joanna. I have a son who's a serious footballer ( Cambridge blue, no less) and have spent many hours freezing on the sidelines. He's my youngest, and I thought I'd got away with it...

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  6. Tour de France starts this Saturday, Frances. Not a ball (or boule) in sight.

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    1. Does anyone actually watch the T de F??

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  7. I suppose you can't put all your balls in one basket. Cricket balls are lethal weapons and I just don't understand the rules. I can just about follow the rules of soccer, but rugby remains a mystery. But hey ho, it's Wimbledon and I do love tennis, which I'm just off to watch now, if it hasn't been rained off that is.

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    1. Yes, cricket is seriously weird. I like the idea of the game - little breaks for tea and matches on village greens . Just not game itself.

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  8. There's really only one word to describe my feelings about the surfeit of balls on our screens. Perhaps that's why they are so appropriately named?

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  9. My father was seriously sporty , so I know all the rules of every damn team game invented .... I used to freeze on the sidelines of rugby matches when I was four .
    Can I catch a ball or throw one ? No. To his credit , my father never gave me up for adoption , though it must have been tempting , and in return I married a football fan .
    And yes , people do watch the Tour de France .... my football fan watches that , too .

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    1. My resident footie fan is at this moment glued to the tennis. Sigh.

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  10. I love the Tour but sadly don't get to see a lot of it. Last year I was off work during the second week and it was fab being able to watch it in the afternoon. I agree that golf balls are very dangerous as is their cousin the cricket ball. You certainly know aboutit when one of those hits you.

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    1. Colette, what's to enjoy about watching a very long bike ride? I find it utterly bewildering. But there seem to,be plenty of you!

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  11. My father always said that the Scotts invented football (or was it rugby?) kicking around the decapitated heads of the English. Maybe that's why I'm not adept at anything ball-related?

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    1. Which gives "new balls, please" a whole new sinister meaning...

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