Wednesday 19 December 2012

Mayoral (and other) patronage of the elderly

My disabled sister, R, whom I have mentioned before (she who on occasion tips herself out of her wheelchair), lives in sheltered acomodation. Most of the residents are elderly. Every Christmas, the Mayoress comes on a visitation, dispensing gifts of sweet and tea bags. Hmmm.

R, having been subjected to this ordeal for several years, now refuses to go. And I sympathise. Just because you are old, disabled or otherwise unable to live an indepedent life, why should you be subjected to this kind of thing? The mayoress is no doubt acting in good faith, and probably feels all warm and fuzzy after her afternoon's good deed. But what about the residents? How must it be for them, being handed sweets (which they probably don't want) and tea (which they can buy for themselves) as though they are children?

Something like this happened to me, several years ago, when I was in hospital with a fractured spine. My fellow patients were also mainly elderly. In the run-up to Christmas, we were visited by women (themselves of a certain age, I might add) from a well-known age-related charity, dispensing bags of sweets. We were also visited by Father Christmas and his merry elf, also giving away sweets. It was one of the more cringy of my experiences

Why, when people are old, do we start treating them like children? Do we think they have, as it were, come full circle? It'll be dolls and teddies next, then rattles, then dummies....

Bring on the skatebaords!.

10 comments:

  1. I don't see my mother as being old... She behaves as she has always has, my sister always says it's her illness as though being old is an illness. My mother can no longer walk or use her hands and has to have 24 hour care, but she will speak her mind loudly and very clearly. Bless her.

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    1. There are some people who just never are old, aren't there?

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  2. HA! I like the way you think. Who wants a rocking chair when you can still ride on a skateboard?

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    1. Not sure I could manage a skateboard, though...

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  3. Howdy Miss Frances. Thought I'd stop by and visit the elderly. *wink* Happy Christmas.

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    1. Where have you been, Mr.V? Happy Christmas to you, too. And less of the "elderly" if you don't mind.

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  4. Nobody likes to be patronized. Perhaps a more grown up present would have been better received? A bottle of gin maybe.

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  5. It does seem a bit patronising, but I imagine these visits do more good than harm. Sometimes elderly and disabled people can get lonely (as can anyone of course) and a visit from the mayoress or whatever might be better than not getting any visitors at all.

    My Granny used to get a charity food parcel every year once she was over 80. She didn't really need it (and gave most of it away) but she enjoyed getting it and sharing a cup of tea and a chat with the delivery person.

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  6. I think it's the being gathered together for the grand presentation that's part of it, Patsy. Yesterday apparently they has excruciating carol singers!

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