Apropos my last post, maybe I should introduce more fully the man up the lane. I shall not name him for fear of repercussions (and he does a good line in repercussions). So for the purposes of this post, I shall call him M (but not in a James Bomd way).
M is.....different. Most of us feel that he's not quite ....well, not quite. But his long-suffering neighbour - a gentle, charitable man - says "he's just a very nasty man". I tend to agree.
M shouts. He shouts a lot. He becomes much exercised over what he sees as minor breaches of the law (untaxed cars, bad driving etc). His inner policeman is forever on the lookout for such eventualities. And then he shouts. He can be heard several doors away (us). He wears an official looking fluorescent jacket to add gravitas to his diatribes.
M has a bad knee. Because of this, he has contrived to get himself a blue disabled parking badge, and his own disabled parking space outside his house. This has cause much ill feeling among the rest of us because (a) he can walk as well as I can, and (b) most of us have to park in the same street, and parking round here is very difficult. This parking space is, however, a courtesy one, and not legally binding. If other drivers encroach on it, which they are entitled to do, he shouts.
(Later) M has just missed a treat. I've just returned from the shops to find a policeman arresting a man and his bicycle. With real handcuffs. This kind of thing is meat and drink to M. I feel almost sorry for him. Almost.
But M does have his uses. If there is dog mess in the lane, he will warn (shout) about it. He will even arrange a barricade of wheelie bins around it as a warning. He gets a small Brownie point for this. But that is the only thing he does for anyone (as far as I know).
I've tried to be nice about/to M, but my patience is wearing thin. Watch this space.
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Video him with sound and call round with a copy thanking him for his diligence.
ReplyDeleteAdrian, he'd probably punch my lights out. He's already tried to attack one woman.
DeleteMaybe he needs an adjustment of his medication.
ReplyDeleteGood point, Patsy.
DeleteHow do you deal with someone like this? You can't. He is best ignored. You can't argue with someone who won't respond. Let him shout to himself.
ReplyDeleteOh, he does that, Maggie. Talking TO people is anathema to him.
DeleteOh dear! How sad that one person can sort of spoil an entire neighbourhood. Barricades of wheelie bins around dog poo? There wouldn't be enough wheelie bins in town if anyone attempted to do that around here.
ReplyDeleteMeike,it's years since I was in Germany, but I always thought it was much tidier/cleaner than England?
DeleteThat depends, Frances... when I compare Ripon to Ludwigsburg, I'd say it has about the same level of (rather good) overall cleanliness. When I think of some larger places such as Sheffield or Stuttgart, it could certainly be better. And dog owners here are probably just as inconsiderate as everywhere - very few do what the law actually requires them to do, clean up after their four-legged friend.
DeleteThere's someone in Broadstairs who sprays dog poo with fluorescent pink paint. Jane Wenham-Jones often mentions it in her newspaper column and I think every town should have a poo-sprayer. Maybe M would like the job where you live. You could buy him an aerosol can of it for Xmas.
ReplyDeleteI mean a can of fluorescent pain not...
ReplyDeleteFluorescent pain or fluorescent paint, Lynne? Though maybe the latter would improve his behaviour, if sprayed directly onto him. It's a thought. I'll try B&Q.
DeleteWell M certainly doesn't sound like the perfect neighbour. I'm fascinated, though, as to why a police officer was arresting and handcuffing a man 'and his bicycle'.
ReplyDelete