Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Cold calls - the solution at last

I have finally found the perfect solution.

Cold caller: Is that Frances Garrood?
Me: I'm afraid she died last week.

Cold caller promptly rings off. It works every time. Short and polite. And the caller is left believing that there's at least one person worse off than they are.
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11 comments:

  1. Anonymous18 January 2012 at 14:42

    Zis is zee 'ousekeeper. Me no comprenez. Trying to pluck up the courage to say this next time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Paula RC18 January 2012 at 15:01

    If I have one more call about PPI and loans I shall press 2 and tell them to find another job before I buy up the company and sack the lot of them. I had two calls in one day. And if you press 9 to stop the calls you just get more of them. I reckon it must have something to do with my phone number.

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  3. Joanna18 January 2012 at 15:35

    I shall definitely try this. It can't fail!

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  4. Frances Garrood18 January 2012 at 16:44

    But Maggie, that would be lying! (I can read your blog, but not comment. I SO agree about 'sat' used instead of 'sitting'. I wrote a post about it myself recently.)

    Be dead, Jarmara. I do recoommend it.

    Let me know how you get on, Joanna!

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  5. Teresa Ashby18 January 2012 at 17:11

    Simple but brilliant - I shall have to try it, thank you!

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  6. Librarian18 January 2012 at 17:14

    Glad I don't get them. For one thing, such calls are illegal in Germany (not that really stops them, mind you). But since my number does not appear in any of the official directories, I guess I am rather protected.

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  7. Diane Fordham18 January 2012 at 20:18

    Mmmmm very clever lol. I am so over those calls. Thanks :-)

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  8. Patsy18 January 2012 at 22:08

    Reading out dialogue from a current story might also do the trick.

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  9. Jenny Woolf19 January 2012 at 09:33

    Or you could say, "Oh, I'm so glad you rang. I have been wanting to talk to someone about the awful rubbish collection. They dropped everything all over the drive last time. I was thinking of writing to my local councillor but I couldn't figure out how to get hold of his address, or her address, if it's a woman, sometimes they are women these days, I know. We had a very good councillor last year but I think he has retired. Anyway, they have this thing about recycling, and I feel very, very strongly about it - do you have a moment to chat? I'm really glad you rang. Because as well as dropping the rubbish, they insist you put the recycling in different boxes, and every council seems to do it differently. My daughter - "

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  10. Frances Garrood19 January 2012 at 09:50

    Thanks, Teresa!

    Librarian, count yourself lucky!

    Thans, Diane.

    Good idea, Patsy, but time-consuming!

    Jenny, I love it! But again, it woudl take too much time and they ALWAYS phone when I'm busy.

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  11. Doctor FTSE29 January 2012 at 18:19

    Hmmm . . "works every time"? What happens when one of them replies . "Didn't she die last week as well?"

    I say (in Slovenlish) "Naw. "Snot 'ere mate. Am just in layin' the man's carpets, innit?"

    ReplyDelete

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