Monday, 16 January 2012
Open letter to Fairy Liquid
Dear Fairy Liquid
For years, I have been a loyal customer. I have defended you aginst people who say that cheaper brands are just as good by replying that you are not only excellent, but you last for ages. I haven't been taken in by your ridiculous advertisements about "the hands that wash dishes" being "soft as your face", because I am old enough and (I hope) wise enough to know that my hands will never be as soft as my face. But I can forgive you for those. I understand that you have to advertise.
Nevertheless, I am deeply disappointed. Why? Because you have cheated. You look the same, and smell the same, but (and here's the really hurtful bit) I strongly suspect that you have been diluted. That's right. Diluted. Made weaker. You don't go nearly as far as you used to. And I'm upset. Because I trusted you.
So that's it. It's over between you and me. I can hardly believe it myself. All those years...all those dishes.... all those happy times over the kitchen sink... all those laughs among the sparkling dishes and the suds...all that wasted loyalty.
So if you see me buying a cheaper brand, it's because I feel betrayed. It's only what you deserve.