Monday, 23 April 2012

T is for Turning Right

As all motorists (and cyclists) know, on British roads turning right isn't as easy as turning left. Because, of course, unwary drivers risk hurling themselves into the paths of oncoming traffic. But if you're elderly, help is at hand in the form of a Satnav designed specially for you (us), that plans your route excluding all right turns.

This is exciting news indeed. It means that while your journey may be ten times longer, you no longer have to take this risky manoeuvre, and you can even detatch your right indicator (if you know how), because you won't need it any more.

But. What I want to know is, how do you get from A to B by just turning left? It seems to me that while this may be a comfortable and simple way to travel, its also an excellent way of going round in circles. At least you will always be able to find your way home. Again and again and again.

All of which puts me in mind of a friend's cat. Brain-damaged and epileptic, it had a predilection for going to sleep on high shelves. It would then have one of its fits, and crash to the floor (thus no doubt compounding its brain damage, never mind risking its life and limbs). This cat, too, could only turn left, so in order to go right, it had to turn in a circle.

The cat died. Perhaps here's a lesson to be learnt here.


  1. Oh dear!!! Honestly, I don't know whether to laugh (find your way home, again and again and again) or cry (poor cat!!) at this post...

  2. I'm confused enough as it is! My lucky husband can usually just follow his nose to get somewhere (most of the time). I'll stick to signs.

  3. As a child, I had a friend whose mother could only turn left and planned her drives accordingly. And another whose mother never got out of second gear.
    I can't imagine how my parents allowed me in either of those cars. Nor can I work out how they passed their tests.
    Lovely post, Frances. I am now laughing my way into the afternoon-session of writing.

  4. I think that I should ration myself to one of your posts at any one sitting. I passed on Damien Hirst (one of my pet dislikes) only to happen upon a fanciful tale of no right turns and a cat that falls of shelves. It's a funny old world.

  5. I read that article too, but your twist on it is very funny. They will also be able to negotiate via building landmarks such as pubs. I can see a few breathalised OAPs staggering their way home.

  6. Hi Frances,
    I enjoyed your post, very funny and a little sad (poor kitty). I just had to add your blog to my A.D.'s FAV5 of the A to Z challenge today.
    If you do not see it yet, I am working my way are #1 ,but do please check back!

    Have a wonderful monday!

  7. Ah, this reminds me of the wild Haggis, found in the Highlands - legs on one side are longer, so they can run around the mountain. I know this for a fact, because my Grandma told me so.
    And, here in L.A., I lknew a woman who couldn't make left turns (scared of oncoming traffic), so she always turned right, went around the block, then straight across the intersection - I guess it makes sense, on some level.
    God bless, Christine

  8. That's funny, because turning right in the states is easier than turning left! Poor kitty. I'm over from A to Z if you want to pop on by and say hi! (Catherine Stine's Idea City)

  9. Librarian, please don't cry. I don't want that on my conscience!

    Rosemary, I concluded years ago that on the whole, direction is a man thing.

    Joanna, that reminds me of a night, years ago, when after driving the same car for years, I suddenly forgot how to put it into reverse, and had to go all round the block in order to get home!

    GB! Only one? Go on. Spoil ourself. You know you want more!

    Maggie, I heard it on the Today programme this morning. It made my day.

    A.D.Duling, what can I say? Thank you!

    Christine, you Ameicans always seem to get the good ideas first!

  10. I've lived in Los Angeles for more than fifty years, but I'm still English.
    God bless, Christine