Titch: You've taken my picture off your blog!
Me: That's right. You were Mr. April. This is Mr. May.
Titch: Doesn't look much like a horse to me.
Me: No. It's not a horse. It's a toddler. One of the things you run away from when they're in pushchairs, although they're a fraction your size.
Titch: You can't be too careful. (Titch dislikes anything small, with wheels). That's not a carrot it's eating.
Me: No. It's a biscuit. Toddlers like biscuits.
Titch: What is it, anyway? This toddler thing?
Me: "It" is my youngest grandchild.
Titch (who can be jealous): Fond of it, are you?
Me: Yes. Very.
Titch: Hmph. Don't bring it anywhere near me.
Me: I wouldn't dream of it. You can be very stupid sometimes.
Titch: Well, what do you expect? You're always saying what small brains horses have.
Me: You said it.
Titch: Tell it to try carrots. Might help it to grow a bit. (Pause.) And talking of carrots...?