Thursday, 30 August 2012

Drivers with hats

There is a kind of driver that I call a Sunday Driver. They take a little spin in the country - not necessarily on a Sunday (and not necessarily in the country, come to that) - and hold all the rest of us up. They usually wear hats.

Let me explain. I have a theory that drivers have a speed centre around the crown of their heads, and that a hat (the best is a trilby) depresses the speed centre and causes the driver to drive - Very. Slowly. Indeed. Like. This. Holding up all the traffic beind them. These drivers don't use their wing mirrors, so have no idea that they are interfering in everyone else's plans.

I also hate tail-gaters, but enough of this for today. It's been a tiresome day, what with Sunday drivers and tail-gaters (and a lot of driving), and I'm now going to go away and read a relaxing book.

And eat chocolate.

20 comments:

  1. I was stuck behind one (Sunday driver that is) yesterday who never got above 20 mph on a clear road and come to think of it they were wearing a hat. You might be onto something Frances.

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    1. Yes, but what's the answer, Colette? Hat free zones?

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  2. If we have a slow driver in front, we say...must be wearing a hat .....and they always are !

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  3. Enjoy the choccy, Frances! See - one more reason why I don't drive :-)

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    1. Ah, but I'm sure you must sometimes travel by road, and that's just as irritating as being in the driving seat!

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  4. If my mother mentioned the slow speed of the driver in front, my father would always say, 'Well, he's wearing a hat, Betty.'
    I was puzzled by this as a small child. Not the inconsequential fact that my mother's name was Betty. But it's absolutely true about the hats. They often wear 'car-coats' too, although I'm not sure what those actually are.

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    1. I can't see their coats, Joanna. But they probably have nice Christmas present driving gloves as well. After all, they might as well do the thing properly!

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  5. It's the Flat-cappers that bug me.

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    1. We don't see many of those round here!

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  6. Take care, Frances, they don't always wear hats! I had one grim faced old lady with mad hair driving right at me the other day halfway over my side of the road and I had to drive on the pavement to avoid a collision! Come to think of it, her hat had probably fallen off :-) x

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    1. Isn't that the opposite of hatted driving, Teresa? Drivers in hats never seem to drive fast enough to cause anything but intense irritation (but I guess that causes accidents, too...)

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  7. Haven't seen evidence of the hat phenomenon but, oh boy, do we have Sunday drivers here - and usually on a Sunday! Every single week they become even more impossible.

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  8. I don't mind them so much on a Sunday, as that's where they belong. It's on busy weekdays that they really get to me.

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  9. These 'Sunday' drivers always seem to be out in force, hats and all, on the A12 going towards Southwold. Especially noticeable on the single-lane stretches! Great post!

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    1. Thanks for that. I shall avoid Southwold!

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  10. Whenever we overtake someone particularly slow Gary asks me to check what kind of hat they were wearing. I think he'll be interested in your speed centre theory.

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    1. Perhaps those of us whe drive...um...fast, should try wearing a hat to see if it makes any difference?

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  11. Someone once told me he dealt with tail-gaters by flicking on his side lights so they think he's braking. Personally, they just make me want to slow down just to bug them.
    Now - a thought - if Sunday drivers could be alternated with tail-gaters, maybe they'd cancel each other out.

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  12. I've just driven 2000 miles (3200 k) from the Outer Hebrides to Tuscany and only met two 'Sunday drivers' in that they were poddling along the centre lane of the M1 in England and Autostrada in Italy (both exceptionally dangerous places to do such a thing). Tailgating, on the other hand, particularly by large Audis and BMWs seems to be the norm regardless of the speed of the car in front.

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