So there I was, outside Tesco, and there was a large toddler lying on the pavement, refusing to get up. The parents had done the "no sweets" thing, and had progressed to "no Christmas presents". The big guns were out.
So I - Mrs.. Busybody, experienced (ha!) motherer of four, grandmother of seven bla blah - step forward with a helpful smile.
Me (to child): Can't you stand up? Oh dear! How sad! I can't believe you don't know how to stand up. A big boy like you!
The toddler lay comfortably on the pavement, a knowing look in his eyes. The parents looked on unsmilingly.
Me (getting desperate): I bet you can't stand on one leg. Look! Like this! Can you do this? I bet you can't!
The toddler regarded me pityingly, and remained firmly where he was. The parents looked on. Passers-by saw a child lying on the pavement, parents standing by, and a woman of a certain age trying valiantly to balance on one leg.
How to get out of this with even a shred of dignity?
I didn't. As for the child, for all I know, he's still lying outside Tesco.
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Oh well at least you try :-) Bet the parents gave in and bought him sweets.
ReplyDeleteOf course they did!
DeleteMust have been an incredibly stubborn child to resist your challenge :-)x
ReplyDeleteOh, he was, Teresa. He was!
DeleteI expect Paula is right and the kid knew they'd give in eventually.
ReplyDeleteMy own children are masters of the empty threat to their kids. Can't remember what I did, it's so long ago...
DeleteI wish I had a Euro for every time I've heard , "No , you can't have it . No , you can't have it .... oh , all right then . "
ReplyDeleteBut well done for trying !
Thank you! But I was uninvited, and interfering, to boot...But I've learnt my lesson!
DeleteI'd have been tempted to give the brat a nudge with my toe. And then one for the parents. Mmmm, maybe the HRT's not working too well today.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to have given him a heart kick, too. And I'm not on HRT!
DeleteFrances, this could have been your claim to fame - unlike some other people, who (see yesterday's post) eat grubs in the jungle for fifteen minutes in the limelight, you stood on one leg in front of Tesco's... Remember to take books next time, so that you can start signing them for the fascinated onlookers ;-)
ReplyDeleteGood idea, Meike. And I can wear my new socks!
DeleteOh, Frances, I love this. What fun. I like the suggestion of taking books to the door of Tesco's, standing on one leg, and autographing them for the crowd that gathers.
ReplyDeleteK
This would be multitasking taken to extremes, though....? What about health and safety?
DeleteMy kids pulled this kind of stunt and I just walked away. When they saw I didn't buy into their tantrum, they got up and ran right to me.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for trying.
Exactly what I would have done!
DeleteSo funny Frances. Humour is the key I think, even though it didn't work. The scene would make a brilliant comedy sketch somewhere.
ReplyDeleteFrom humiliation springs inspiration...not a bad idea, Maggie.
DeleteKids rule these days don't they Frances? Good idea of yours, but if the parents are that daft, the kid will be as well.
ReplyDeleteHe was attached to a harness. I would have unclipped the reins and left him there!
DeleteSorry - I laughed aloud at thought of you standing on one leg with the little brat looking on!
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't have been so bad if the parents had acknowledged my presence! But I suppose I asked for it...
DeleteAh Frances, I thought of you this morning as I left the Motor Vehicle Department after applying for my New Mexico driver's license and registering my Volvo. An adorable, big-eyed, dark-haired little girl, possibly three years old was standing between me and the door and I said hello to her, she never changed expressions nor did she utter a sound. I said, "Hi!" Nothing. As I passed through the door I turned and said, "Bye!" Still nothing. Either she was deaf or her parents have already brain-washed her into not responding to strangers.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that, Jill. Children are taught not to speak to strangers, but strangers aren't told not totalk to children. I often speak to small children, and then remember that maybe I shouldn't. Actually, after the Tesco experience...
ReplyDeleteWhat would Gabs have done?
ReplyDeleteSpanked him. Definitely.
DeleteAt least you didn't fall over. Now that would have been embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's made me feel much better!
DeleteAt least you tried. The first sign of a tantrum (which my brother was famous for), my mum would give us THE EYE and we knew she was serious.
ReplyDeleteI think the harness should have given you a big clue.
The parents probably thought you were very brave to attempt calming him down, and in front of Tesco no less!!
Thanks, Virginia. But it wasn't one of my proudest moments!
DeleteGood on you for trying.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Colette!
DeleteYou were very good to give it a go......and the thought of the child still on the pavement hours later made me smile.....my two never really did the tantrum thing, which I know to some people sounds odd....but if mine ever did look like they were about to throw one I would either walk away (although keep them in sight) or distract them.........maybe my kids were too lazy for tantrums..both are very laid back!
ReplyDeleteLucky you, Libby! (BTW the child is no longer on the pavement, you'll be relieved to know!)
ReplyDelete