Thursday 8 November 2012

On feeling foolish outside Tesco

So there I was, outside Tesco, and there was a large toddler lying on the pavement, refusing to get up. The parents had done the "no sweets" thing, and had progressed to "no Christmas presents". The big guns were out.

So I - Mrs.. Busybody, experienced (ha!) motherer of four, grandmother of seven bla blah - step forward with a helpful smile.

Me (to child): Can't you stand up? Oh dear! How sad! I can't believe you don't know how to stand up. A big boy like you!

The toddler lay comfortably on the pavement, a knowing look in his eyes. The parents looked on unsmilingly.

Me (getting desperate): I  bet you can't stand on one leg. Look! Like this! Can you do this? I bet you can't!

The toddler regarded me pityingly, and remained firmly where he was. The parents looked on. Passers-by saw a child lying on the pavement, parents standing by, and a woman of a certain age trying valiantly to  balance on one leg.

 How to get out of this with even a shred of dignity?

I didn't. As for the child, for all I know, he's still lying outside Tesco.

34 comments:

  1. Oh well at least you try :-) Bet the parents gave in and bought him sweets.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Must have been an incredibly stubborn child to resist your challenge :-)x

    ReplyDelete
  3. I expect Paula is right and the kid knew they'd give in eventually.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My own children are masters of the empty threat to their kids. Can't remember what I did, it's so long ago...

      Delete
  4. I wish I had a Euro for every time I've heard , "No , you can't have it . No , you can't have it .... oh , all right then . "
    But well done for trying !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! But I was uninvited, and interfering, to boot...But I've learnt my lesson!

      Delete
  5. I'd have been tempted to give the brat a nudge with my toe. And then one for the parents. Mmmm, maybe the HRT's not working too well today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd like to have given him a heart kick, too. And I'm not on HRT!

      Delete
  6. Frances, this could have been your claim to fame - unlike some other people, who (see yesterday's post) eat grubs in the jungle for fifteen minutes in the limelight, you stood on one leg in front of Tesco's... Remember to take books next time, so that you can start signing them for the fascinated onlookers ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good idea, Meike. And I can wear my new socks!

      Delete
  7. Oh, Frances, I love this. What fun. I like the suggestion of taking books to the door of Tesco's, standing on one leg, and autographing them for the crowd that gathers.
    K

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This would be multitasking taken to extremes, though....? What about health and safety?

      Delete
  8. My kids pulled this kind of stunt and I just walked away. When they saw I didn't buy into their tantrum, they got up and ran right to me.
    Good for you for trying.

    ReplyDelete
  9. So funny Frances. Humour is the key I think, even though it didn't work. The scene would make a brilliant comedy sketch somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From humiliation springs inspiration...not a bad idea, Maggie.

      Delete
  10. Kids rule these days don't they Frances? Good idea of yours, but if the parents are that daft, the kid will be as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was attached to a harness. I would have unclipped the reins and left him there!

      Delete
  11. Sorry - I laughed aloud at thought of you standing on one leg with the little brat looking on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It wouldn't have been so bad if the parents had acknowledged my presence! But I suppose I asked for it...

      Delete
  12. Ah Frances, I thought of you this morning as I left the Motor Vehicle Department after applying for my New Mexico driver's license and registering my Volvo. An adorable, big-eyed, dark-haired little girl, possibly three years old was standing between me and the door and I said hello to her, she never changed expressions nor did she utter a sound. I said, "Hi!" Nothing. As I passed through the door I turned and said, "Bye!" Still nothing. Either she was deaf or her parents have already brain-washed her into not responding to strangers.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Interesting that, Jill. Children are taught not to speak to strangers, but strangers aren't told not totalk to children. I often speak to small children, and then remember that maybe I shouldn't. Actually, after the Tesco experience...

    ReplyDelete
  14. What would Gabs have done?

    ReplyDelete
  15. At least you didn't fall over. Now that would have been embarrassing.

    ReplyDelete
  16. At least you tried. The first sign of a tantrum (which my brother was famous for), my mum would give us THE EYE and we knew she was serious.
    I think the harness should have given you a big clue.
    The parents probably thought you were very brave to attempt calming him down, and in front of Tesco no less!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Virginia. But it wasn't one of my proudest moments!

      Delete
  17. You were very good to give it a go......and the thought of the child still on the pavement hours later made me smile.....my two never really did the tantrum thing, which I know to some people sounds odd....but if mine ever did look like they were about to throw one I would either walk away (although keep them in sight) or distract them.........maybe my kids were too lazy for tantrums..both are very laid back!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Lucky you, Libby! (BTW the child is no longer on the pavement, you'll be relieved to know!)

    ReplyDelete