...for that special gift, for I have the solution right here in a catalogue*: clockwork salt and pepper pots, shaped like penguins. You "just fill the pots with salt and pepper, wind them up, and let them go...shooting across the table to whoever needs them". Apparently "passing the salt and pepper has never been so much fun".
Passing the salt and pepper fun? Really?
Oh, what have I been missing all these years...
What will they think up next? Wind-up vegetable dishes? Motorised knives and forks? When you think about it, the possibilities for fun at the dinner table are endless.
*One of those catalogues full of things nobody needs to give to people who don't want them; the last resort of the desperate shopper.