"Come friendly bombs and drop on Slough,"
John Betjeman once wrote.
And oh, I so agree with him,
If he'll excuse the quote.
Last Sunday, when we lost our way
(I'm still not quite sure how)
The satnav played a nasty trick,
And took us home through Slough.
Oh Betjeman, I could add much more
To all those things you said.
Grey faces, traffic, buildings, cars,
But traffic lights - all red.
The roundabouts, the one-way streets -
Which way do we go now?
Oh, friendly bombs, dear friendly bombs,
Please come and drop on Slough.
Where was the longed-for motorway
We'd sought, but failed to find?
Where was the slip road? Where the signs?
Alas, all far behind.
But citizens of Slough, you know
Your town will win no prizes.
So phone up Pickfords, pack your stuff -
And join us, in Devizes!
(I love Betjeman's poem, but after last Sunday, I really, really hate Slough.)