Thursday 3 May 2012

Sean's story

Maria is a single mother, devoted to her son Sean. She is separated from Sean's father,Ian, but Ian had regular access to his son.

When Sean was four-and-a-half, Maria was becoming concerned at his increasing reluctance to see his father. Ian appeared devoted to Sean, and there seemed to be no problems. But finally, the situation became so bad that she managed to extract from Sean his "secret" (he had been told that his mother would die if he told anyone what was happening). Ian had been systematically sexually abusing Sean - in a swimming pool, so that all the evidence was immediately destroyed.

Maria was totally distraught, and sought help. Everyone blelieved Sean; his teacher, his GP, social workers, his family. The experiences he described were far too graphic to have been invented by so young a child. But - and here was the biggest problem of all - because of his young age, his evidence could not be accepted in a court of law. The physical damage to Sean could, it was said, have been caused by constipation. Ian remained free and at large.

Eventually, Maria was introduced to a family courts lawyer, who said she MUST pursue the matter through the family courts. This she did. The judge believed Sean, and a restraining order was imposed on Ian, preventing him from going anywhere near his son. When, a year later, the civil courts finally decided to take action, Ian's computer was clean (after all, he'd had a long time in which to see to that), and any other evidence was long gone.

Sean is now eight, and is finally beginning to be able to put some of his trauma behind him. Time will tell how much lasting damage has been inflicted upon him, but he has a close and happy relationship with his mother - who is still very traumatised at what happened to her son - and his extended family.

The last I heard of Ian was that he had a new girlfriend. With young children.

7 comments:

  1. I hope that Maria tells the mother of the children what she has gone through with Ian. Even if the law cannot touch him, she has a responsibility not to expose other kids to the same risk. What a tragic and horrible story this is.

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    1. Maria has done everything in her power to stop Ian's activities, but as she has no contact she doesn't even know where he is now. She and Sean are trying to forget about him and get on with their lives. Not easy.

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  2. Oh Frances, how awful. Poor little boy. This makes me mad and sad - no child should ever have to go through this. What an evil excuse for a man.

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    1. Thanks, Teresa. The worst thing is there's nothing to stop him doing it again. Meanwhile, the rest of us collect CRB checks.

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  3. Of course he would find a new girlfriend with young children.
    I hope Sean manages to grow past his traumatic memories. I can't imagine anything worse than a father who sexually abuses his own children (and now, probably, the girlfriend's children).
    K

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  4. This man was probably abused himself. It's a chain of behaviour that's very hard to break. It's an appalling problem ( though of course this is no excuse).

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  5. I've been around too long in a local authority and known too many people in the Scottish Children's Reporters Administration (which deals with the justice system for children) to be naive about these things but I still find it hard to accept and even harder to understand the mentality which perpetrates such heinous deeds.

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