1. Choose a Saturday morning in a busy market town. Timing is all.
2. Take your shopping trolley (I know. Geriatric equipment. But this won't work without the trolley).
3. Do lots of shopping.
4. Go to Sainsburys. Do more shopping.
5. At the self serve thingy, check out your stuff, and pack it into the trolley. Do this in a hurry (there has to be a queue building up behind you for this to work really well).
6. Stuff large bag of potatoes on top of other purchases, ensuring that the trolley is top-heavy. Fumble with your change and drop your purse.
7. Try to reach purse and grab trolley, preferably at the same time.
8. The trolley will now tip over, the purse will skitter across the floor, and if this goes really well, you will ricochet into the confectionary display, which should be small and unsteady.
9. Land heavily on your knees, arms outflung, uttering expletives (your choice), scattering packets of sweets/chocolate etc and the members of the queue.
This works. I promise. I tried it only this morning.
(Oh, and I'm feeling a bit better now. Thanks for asking.)