Today, John received a letter from the police to say that he'd been caught speeding. But casting our minds back, we realised I was probably the driver (we'd just swapped over). Bad news all round, you might think.
But hush...what's that I hear? The tinkle of the bell of opportunity? For if indeed it was John, and we say it was me, and we get caught, and tell a lot of lies, and go to prison (like the notorious Chris Huhne and his ex), and I then write a book, it may well sell far better than anything I've written so far. Ok, so we aren't MPs, but it's a start, isn't it? Vicky Price's experiences were published in a national newspaper after her release, so why not mine?
So in a way, I hope it was me, and we say it was John, and we get caught and etc. etc. etc......
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People go to prison for lying about speeding tickets? Wow, I hope it's not like that in Canada, because we swap cars all the time, and I can't remember what I did last week, never mind who drove which car when. Both cars are in my husband's name, but the older one is considered to be mine.
ReplyDeleteScary thought, but one would have plenty of time to write a bestseller in prison, I suppose.
Good thinking, Frances.
K
I thought of that, Kay (writing a novel in prison), but still decided I'd rather stay where I am.
DeleteOr you could say it was Prince Harry in disguise; I'm sure you could find a reason for him driving your car.
ReplyDeleteCM, he can afford a much better lawyer thn I can. Sadly.
DeleteJust write them a nice letter saying you can't remember who was driving as unfortunately you were both drunk as Lords and Ladies.
ReplyDeleteAdrian gets the prize!
DeleteAdrian, I'm a lousy liar, so that probably wouldn't work.
DeleteThe lie to work just has to confuse and amuse them. They give up if you don't pay. If they don't give up it costs twice as much but it is fun.
DeleteTreat it as an opportunity.
You are a novelist......A good one....A born liar.
Gee thanks, Adrian.
DeleteLook forward to visiting you. I'll make sure I bring a cake with a nail file.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Wendy (I'm still not sure how people escape from prison using a nail file, but it's a kind thought).
DeleteThe things writers do for a story, or publicity...
ReplyDeleteRosemary, I did think of doing a Lady Godiver ride, with the names of my books emblazoned on my torso, but Fairfax wouldn't agree.
DeleteNothing good ever came from lying and subterfuge except in the plots of soap operas and situation comedies on the telly and a few Shakespearean plays and....
ReplyDeleteMaybe you're on to something.
This is very true (though Jeffrey Archer always seems to emerge smeling of roses).
DeleteHe emerges but I wouldn't want to smell him. He is a terrible writer, more worser than me.
DeleteSounds like a plan. I'll watch out for you in The Daily Mail.
ReplyDeleteNo, no, Maggie. The Times. Please.
DeleteIt'd help if you could get a footballer involved.
ReplyDeleteOh yes! I have a son who's a keen footballer, but sadly he's not famous.
DeleteIf you genuinely don't know who was driving then that is grounds for having the ticket set aside. Another well know professional couple of VIPs with parliamentary connections tried than one and won.
ReplyDeleteGB, they say they have "photographic evidence", but I'm not sure whether the detail goes as far as identifying the driver. But I think it's probably (another) speeding course for me.
DeleteI'll be serious. Yes the new speed cameras do take your picture.
DeleteNext time you want a free snap then speed and ask them for a copy. I'm thinking that should I ever marry again then it may be worth giving it a whirl.
They have always had photographic evidence of the car but not of who is driving. I think that most fixed cameras still operate as you drive away not towards them. I'm disappointed in you Frances if you have already been on a course. You know the potential results of speed and I know you would be devastated if what you have seen on the course were to occur. (No. I've not been on 'the course' but I did an advanced driving course once upon a time.)
DeleteGB, I take your point. Nut I'm a very careful driver, always leave plenty of space in front of me, and only overtake if I can see for miles ahead. Just before this incident, we had the nearest miss I've ever had. A car pulled straight out in front of us, and the driver was within a second of being killed. Where are the police when this kind of thing happens?
DeletePs to my last, the nut should have been but! But you'll be pleased to know that today I drove very, very slowly.
DeleteI'm sorry Frances. Driving into town after my comment I felt that I'd perhaps not just been pompous but also been a bit unfair. Speeding is, unfortunately, one of my 'things'. I drive quickly but try never ever to exceed limits. It's a limit, not a target is my mantra. Having said that I drive with a windscreen camera (in case of accident) and you have no idea how many scary some of the incidents it captures are.
Delete