I've posted about this before, but here are a few more which I find bewildering:
Q: Are you going somewhere nice for your holidays?
A: No. We're going somewhere really horrible.
Q: Is there anything in the (news) paper today?
A: No. Just thirty-six blank pages, as usual.
Q : (from a shop assistant) Were you looking for anything in particular?
A: Well, I was, but not any more.
Q: (similar to the above) And what was your name?
A: Well, it was Winterbottom when I came in, but I've just changed it to Middleton (why not?).
Q: (following on from a rant from my daughter yesterday, who had just been asked this in Waitrose):
Do you want a carrier bag at all?
A: Well, a bit of carrier bag would be fine. Just one handle, I think.
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(1). I thought you were people for cruises?
ReplyDelete(2). Yes, Dithery has, after four years got his picture taken with Barack Obama. Barack has had enough so let Dithery visit a school with him.
The picture in the Telegraph says it all. Barack is reaching out to stroke the children. Dithery has both hands clasped over his naughty bits.
I know I should post this myself. I'll say it anyway Barack has been a waste of the black vote.
(3&4). I don't shop in Waitrose as there are non in Scotland. No Scotts can afford their prices. I have tried to convert them. I miss out the likes of Tesco. Get my staple foods in ALDI. Posh cheese locally and as a last resort use John Lewis. I do use them once a year for Levi Jeans. The price is right but the service is condescending. I like buying brand new denim. I don't like messing with buttons so I pre -order Levi 507. Same thing as 501 but with a zip to hide my willy. They have good stuff but you have to put up with a young tosser before one goes to pay. At least they now accept cards, I can remember when it was cash or cheque only. It boggles the mind to think how much tax they didn't pay.
I hope I answered this quiz perfect.
Adrian, this wasn't supposed to be a quiz. And as for your willy and the covering thereof...oh well. Never mind...
DeleteThe carrier bag question sounds Irish.
ReplyDeleteIt does, doesn't it? I hadn't thought of that.
Delete'Are you in?' is the one I like.
ReplyDeleteLove your examples and I look forward to seeing more.
By the way, I agree about the slugs being ghosts. Have given up and not going to bother knitting them sweaters to tie the cotton on to as suggested by Teresa.
Yes - that's a goo done, Lynne. I'm glad you've come round on the slug thing. If they were real, they'd eat the pellets I've left form the, and leave their nasty little corpses behind.
DeleteHave you lived here all your life?
ReplyDeleteWell no, not yet
Good point. I suppose if they added "so far" it might be acceptable?
DeleteOne that I'm really tired of (after a decade of early retirement for health reasons) is "what do you do all day". I'm always tempted to come up with really stupid answers - or just return the question, because quite frankly, with most of my working friends, I don't know the details of their days either!
ReplyDeleteThat is frankly insulting, isn't it. I quite agree, DT.
DeleteI dislike it when people use the "What was your name again?" question. They do it on the phone all the time! When I still worked in sales, I always made sure to NOT ask this question. In those cases when I need to make sure I got someone's name right, I usually say towards the end of the conversation "...and you are Mr./Mrs. ...?", or I ask "How do I spell your name correctly?" or something like that.
ReplyDeleteGood idea, Meike. I might have known you'd have the answer!
DeleteIt's so difficult not to slip into this cliched speech. I will certainly be watching myself from now on because you never know who may be observing you and writing their blogs!
ReplyDeleteTime you got yours (blog) going again, Maggie!
DeleteWhen I stub my toe and am trying not to swear while hopping about, red in the face, and someone says, "Are you all right?", I feel even crosser, even though I know they're trying to be kind, which means I feel guilty as well.
ReplyDeleteYes. That's an odd one, isn't it. You have to say something, otherwise it looks as though you don't care. On the other hand....
DeleteDo you always get cross at silly questions?
ReplyDeleteNo.
Delete