I think I always have been. Pessimists call themselves realists; optimists call them (us) .... pessimists.
We pessimists know the score. We know we're all heading in the same direction, and we could get there any minute. We know that every time we get in a car, that journey could be our (or worse. Someone else's) last; that that lump/cough/weight loss/chest pain is almost certainly going to prove fatal (actually, I'm not a hypochondriac, but many of us pessimists are). We know that when we invite people to dinner, that dish that's supposed to set in a pretty shape is going to tumble out of its tin in a messy heap, someone at the table will be allergic to something, and the guests will take an instant dislike to each other. (This last happened some years ago, when I stupidly invited very left-wing friends together with very public school right-wingers. They hated each other on sight. Why didn't I see that coming?). We know that that garment we hanker after will be out of stock/only available in tiny or outsize/or just won't fit. If we do buy it, it will certainly be half price in the sale next day. C'est las vie (or the pessimist's vie, anyway). Oh, and if we see a police car, of course it's after us, although we can't remember doing anything wrong.
The other day, I came across this spectacularly silly rhyme, written when I was probably about nineteen:
Oh cabbage in your cabbage patch,
Where bugs and caterpillars hatch.
Tell me, I pray, is it too late
For me to come and vegetate?
It's seems I haven't changed much.
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At a time when I was quite depressed, I took refuge in realistic pessimism. I think that by nature I'm a realistic optimist, though. Though I had one ghastly party once, when two people who had had unpleasant experiences took over two roomfuls of people and absolutely killed the mood - took me more than a decade before I risked a party again, and I was always really careful about guests at any gathering.
ReplyDeleteOnce I've bought something, I never check out their sale page unless I feel I've already got my money's worth.
Z, you sound very balanced and sensible to me.
DeleteNow I wouldn't have put you down as a pessimist at all. My bottle is always half full; so much so that if I meet someone who tends to always look on the downside, I will make a comment to the contrary. In fact I get quite a kick out of being positive. They probably think I'm a pain in the bum!
ReplyDeleteOh dear, Maggie. If we met, you and I might well fall out!
DeleteWell look on the bright side. It probably won't happen!!
DeleteI think this is more realist than pessimist.
ReplyDeleteIf yoiu call pessimism realism, you know what that means, don't you, Adrian?
DeleteMy friend Anna who is staying (and who reads you blog) doesn't have you down as a pessimist. I, on the other hand, could definitely detect 'realism' in your character.
ReplyDeleteI'm a full-blown card-carrying cock-eyed optimist (isn't there a song about that?). It's that wot keeps me so cheerful (and alive!).
Good for you, Graham. You always seem pretty positive.
DeleteYou have never struck me as a pessimist, Frances. I think this is more to do with you being a writer and your imagination telling you what might happen! I'm the same (especially thinking police cars are always after me), but I think writers must also be optimists to keep going xx
ReplyDeleteI think the police thing goes back to school, Teresa. The headmistress always made me feel guilty (probably because I often was). Fear of authority figures, or something...
DeleteI would say you're a realist, with pessimistic leanings at times! I'm an annoying (adjective is my husband's) optimist mostly, with little touches of realism occasionally.
ReplyDeleteI think you sound about right, Rosemary. I'd love to be an optimist.
DeleteMy husband doesn't call me a pessimist - just a worrier.
ReplyDeleteWendy, I'm an Olympic standard worrier, as are two of my children. It's such a waste of time, but totally uncontrollable.
DeleteI'm quite good at seeing what might go wrong in situations, but I don't tend to think the bad things are certain to happen.
ReplyDeletePatsy, I think my pessimistic fears were augmented the day I woke up a wife, and went to bed that night a widow. It's the unexpected, sudden things in life (which of course can often be wonderful too).
DeleteI have said for years that it's better to be a pessimist than an optimist because optimists are often disappointed, but pessimists are pleasantly surprised occasionally.
ReplyDeleteI may be overthinking the subject just a bit.
No. You're absolutely right! (Btw do you have a shorter name for me to reply to?)
DeleteSome of my friends in blogworld call me rhymes.
DeleteYour comment to Patsy is very interesting, Frances. Going to work a wife and coming home a widow had the opposite effect on me - I have not become a pessimist, but have rather stopped worrying about things I have no control over anyway, and therefore refuse to waste any energy on them.
ReplyDeleteMeike, you're far more sensible than I am. But i do agree that bereavement puts life in perspective (as do other life changing events.),
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