Thursday, 14 April 2011
M is for Monopoly
Of all games, I hate Monoploy the most. This is not only mind-numbingly long and tedious (oh, the indecision when your boot lands on Old Kent Road. Do you really want to buy such a dismal property?), but it brings out the very worst in small children.
It is my experience (of my own children and grandchildren)that at the age of about 7, children discover Monopoly,and are instantly hooked. It ticks all their most unpleasant boxes; it is fiercely comeptitive, fosters reckless greed, and encourages them to take unfair advantage of anyone who is nicer or kinder than they are.My eldest son adored the game, and would bribe his sister (who, it has to be said, didn't give a hoot) to let him have Park Lane and Mayfair, whereupon, unmindful of any gratitude that might be owing, he would proceed to build houses and hotels for her (and the rest of us )to land on, and eventually claim a thoroughly dishonourable victory. Woe betide anyone who beat him, for he would throw the most appalling tantrums, and make our lives unbearable. So he usually won (anything for a quiet life).
Years after we had all grown up, my mother confessed that she always ensured that she went to Gaol, remaining there for the rest of the game. No-on noticed. We were all far to busy accumulating property and wrangling over fines.
I have heard it said that you can tell what kind of person someone is going to grow into by the way they played Monopoly as a child.
I do hope not.