Monday, 17 September 2012

My recipe for special pastry

I make pastry. I never buy the shortcrust kind, because it's so easy to make, right? So when making a special, large quiche for visitors at the week-end, I got out all my ingredients, and proceeded. Here is my recipe:

1. Put ingredients into food processor. Whizz.
2. Notice mixture's a bit crumbly, but that's good isn't it? Nice, short pastry. Congratulate self.
3. Rest pastry in fridge (I have never seen the point of this. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't, but I was Cooking to Impress).
4. Take pastry from fridge, and roll out. Still a bit crumbly, but never mind.
5. Fit pastry into flan dish.
6. Pastry disintegrates. Say some bad words and put it back in food processor with more water. Whizz.
7. Pastry disintegrates even more.
8. More bad words. Tip pastry into bin.
9. Survey scene of devastation.
10. Trip to Sainsburys, where I buy more ingredients, and, to be on the safe side, some ready-made shortcrust pastry (try not to let anyone see this, as I am ashamed).
11. Back home. Decision time. Make more pastry, or use the ready-made?
12. Decision made. Roll out the ready-made pastry, and use.
13. Wonderful results (to look at). Feel relieved, if rather ashamed.
14. Upshot: Flan looks great, but pastry awful (sorry, Sainsburys).
15. Resolve to do better next time.

PS there is no copyright for this recipe. Feel free to try it.


  1. Ha! I find pastry exceedingly difficult to make no matter which recipe I try!

  2. When I make pastry it always involves saying some bad words.
    After rolling it, once I start lifting it up, it falls into pieces. These have to be pressed together in the tin and the trimmings used to fill the inevitable gaps. I had to teach my daughters to make pastry this way because that is the only way I can do it.
    When they cry out, "Oh no, it's falling apart!", I just say, "That's right. Just stick it back together."

    1. There are some occasions when sticking it back together isn't enough. And some pastry that just won't stick!

  3. I confess to always using ready-made pastry these days - out of sheer laziness rather than anything else. Do I gather you used Sainsbury's own brand? I use Jus Roll and I haven't had any complaints yet.

  4. I never make anything involving pastry at all...thus avoiding any problems or guilt trips!

  5. I quite enjoy making pastry - I have a brilliant gadget to use by hand - never in the machine. I do occasionally get a soggy bottom, but we won't talk about that.

  6. Never mind the soggy bottom! What's the gadget?

  7. Well, there is pastry and pastry, isn't there? I mean, there's the fluffy kind and the shortbread kind and the kind that is made with yeast and the fairycake kind, so which one were you trying to make? Apart from the fluffy kind, I've made them all, and each and everyone of them has at some time come out very well and at another time not quite so good. I don't have a kitchen machine but make pastry with yeast always by hand and the other ones with a handheld mixer.

    1. Meike, in this country, pastry for normal purposes contains only flour, fat and cold water. Never yeast. I was making short crust pastry, which usually works well. But not this time!

  8. If you really want to know it has a handle and about 6 wires attached in an arc to each end. The wires cut throught the fat and mix with the flour avoiding using the rubbing in method. The less handling the better. Pity I can't draw it for you.

  9. My Mum made brilliant pastry (I'm a man I would say that but she really did) and she did it all in a kitchen at the melting point of human flesh. I have always been complimented on my puff pastry (usually used for a Russian fish pie). It comes from the Coop (not sure which brand). I iron. I cook. Life is, however, too short to make puff pastry.