I make pastry. I never buy the shortcrust kind, because it's so easy to make, right? So when making a special, large quiche for visitors at the week-end, I got out all my ingredients, and proceeded. Here is my recipe:
1. Put ingredients into food processor. Whizz.
2. Notice mixture's a bit crumbly, but that's good isn't it? Nice, short pastry. Congratulate self.
3. Rest pastry in fridge (I have never seen the point of this. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't, but I was Cooking to Impress).
4. Take pastry from fridge, and roll out. Still a bit crumbly, but never mind.
5. Fit pastry into flan dish.
6. Pastry disintegrates. Say some bad words and put it back in food processor with more water. Whizz.
7. Pastry disintegrates even more.
8. More bad words. Tip pastry into bin.
9. Survey scene of devastation.
10. Trip to Sainsburys, where I buy more ingredients, and, to be on the safe side, some ready-made shortcrust pastry (try not to let anyone see this, as I am ashamed).
11. Back home. Decision time. Make more pastry, or use the ready-made?
12. Decision made. Roll out the ready-made pastry, and use.
13. Wonderful results (to look at). Feel relieved, if rather ashamed.
14. Upshot: Flan looks great, but pastry awful (sorry, Sainsburys).
15. Resolve to do better next time.
PS there is no copyright for this recipe. Feel free to try it.