Thursday 19 September 2013

An ode for the digital-averse

When a technophobe woman called Bridget
Comes stumbling into the digit-
-al world, the computer
(She finds) doesn't  suit her.
Now she can't tell her app from her widget.

And that, I'm afraid, is me. I've no idea what any of these things are. I keep being told (by my computer) that I 'need cookies' (for example) but nobody tells me why, or even what they are.

Why can't things computer-related have sensible names/titles? ones that I can understand? If I phone for help, I get nice young men who rattle off instructions and lose me after about thirty seconds. I hesitate to ask children/grandchildren (yes. Even you, BJ) because they're all busy. I probably ought to go on a course, but I'm done with courses.

So I soldier on. Sort of. Hoping that one day the penny might just drop.

On day...

14 comments:

  1. Just when you think you've caught up with the technology, another gadget/app/handset appears on the scene. My 7 yr old grandson told me that my mobile is rubbish "you can only speak to people on it".

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    1. Anything technological get passed on to my husband smartish.

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    2. I quite agree, L (loved your grandson's remark!).

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  2. Frances if you don't know it Google it. If you can't Google it you probably don't need to know it. There's help pages everywhere for everything. I suspect, though, that provided that your computer is working you don't need to know very much.

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    1. GB, I find even Googled instructions can be incomprehensible (but my family would say I just don't concentrate). I think my problem is that I'm just not that interested. Until things go wrong...

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  3. I can help. Widgets are the things in beer cans that give the drink a proper frothy head. You don't really need one though, just shake a regular can before pouring. (only a gentle shake, otherwise you'll end up with an instant sreencleaner, not a pint)

    Cookies are big chewy biscuit type things. Unless you're in America when they really are biscuits and when biscuits are referred to they mean scones. (You're right, why can't they stick to sensible names?)

    Apps are sort of index things that are needed to help us understand all this jargon.

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    1. Come on ladies. Apps are just a long bit of computer code that allows you to do things you didn't know how to or even want to before.
      Cookies are invasive but when I'm ordering stuff online. They remember what I did and fill two pages of little boxes in a second. Amazon have gone one step further and allow me to purchase with just one click. Brilliant it is.

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    2. Patsy, I thought widgets were there to stop the beer escaping. So I've learnt something today (I knew about the American biscuit thing, but still can't apply it to computers).

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  4. I echo Graham. Don't be a slave to the digital age. Do your best to embrace it then ask for help. There are so many people out there who with a total lack of altruism will sort any problems you encounter.

    It is the finest medium I've yet to find. Constructing 3D images being the exception to this but I've only just started. I had coffee this morning with a very entertaining programmer. He is half my age, I had found difficulties with a bit of software. He went into mental melt down when he didn't know of a solution. I had to stroke his neck to calm him down.

    Give me a specific problem, I can convert computer geeker speak into English and if I can't someone I know can.

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    1. Oh, Adrian...would you come and stroke my neck? I'm sure it would help.

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  5. I just type & write and the world can move on without me if it wants too. I just enjoy what I know until I need to update... That's me and my computer. As for my phone well it does what phones use to do, I just talk to people I like on it. And as for my camera it is so last years... yes that's right you just use it to take pictures. I know I'm such an old fashion girl.

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    1. Me too, Paula. Me too. That is, until something goes wrong.

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  6. I'm pretty much the same Frances - can use a PC, but don't really understand it...

    Googling often doesn't help. Been on Chrome for (I don't really remember)a year or so and it is only this week I figured out how to bookmark...

    Anna :o]

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  7. This is a boat that we all seem to be sitting in....but we are still afloat. I agree with most of the comments and find that just hoping something will go away doesn't always help....we have to read or ask someone for advice, but so be it. Considering the fact that computers were the size of rooms when I first encountered them I am not doing too badly....and neither are you!

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