Sunday 5 October 2014

Modern manners

I've booked a window table
As its private and discreet.
That potted cactus will ensure
We're hidden from the street.
I hope you like Italian?
Oh - excuse me please, my sweet,
While I take a couple of minutes,
As I need to send a Tweet.

Now, would you lie a starter?
Just asparagus? That's all?
You sure you don't want any bread?
The portions can be small.
I came last Wednesday with the lads,
Oh boy! We had a ball!
But that reminds me, darling,
That I need to make a call.

Now, what about the main course?
What do you fancy next?
The menu's in Italian,
That's what's making you perplexed.
Do try their special pasta
If you don't, they'll be quite vexed.
Or their - oh, hang on a minute
While I just return this text.

I don't want anything  to eat
I'll take a taxi home.
I've always hated pasta
Since it made me ill in Rome.
And you'll be fine without me
After all,  you're not alone.
You've all the company you need
With your f***ing mobile phone!


30 comments:

  1. This is really funny. I do have a mobile phone but never take it out with me.
    I only wish I could write observant poetry or prose without getting all tangled up and cross.
    This is one of your best.

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    1. You're very kinde, Adrian, but I wouldn't dignify this by calling it poetry!

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  2. It's funny but it's sad too because it's so often true.

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  3. I was without my internet access for a whole day recently, I suppose I felt like some people do without their mobile phone; not me, I don't have one.

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  4. Very true!! I am glad that the people I go out with do not behave that way (at least not while I'm present), and neither do I. But I observe this a lot.

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    1. It's as though people are saying to their companion that there's something more important than dinner together. Very rude.

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  5. It's strange, isn't it, how much power the telephone/mobiles have over a person. I suppose a call could be an emergency, but even so. It's people talking loudly (for everyone's benefit) on trains that bugs me.

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    1. I agree, Biddy. We always go,in the quiet carriage.

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  6. Very true, and a wonderful poem. We were in London the other day, and looking round ,I said to my OH…"Can you see anyone NOT on their phone?"

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    1. Yes. But what are they all saying that's so important? I'd love to know.

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  7. I'm sitting in a cafe as I type. Around me are mothers and toddlers chatting and enjoying each others company. A few individuals are tapping away on their gadgets, but this place is used by lots of business people. Totally agree that two people out for a meal should be concentrating on each other, but I do love this buzzing atmosphere.

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  8. Forgot to say as my enthusiasm for the subject took over; I loved the poem. Clever and witty.

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    1. Thanks, Maggie. I wrote it after a meal in a London tapas bar where all the young couples had their mobiles almost as part of their place settings. We'd left ours behind.

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  9. Love that, Frances, and completely agree with the sentiments! Think you need to get that published.

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    1. You're very sweet, Rsemary, but I doubt whether there'd be a market for my doggerel!

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  10. Ha! Must read this out to my daughter next time she visits.

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    1. My kids are pretty good, Wendy. On the whole....

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  11. Hi Frances!
    I love this. You really struck a cord. People have not developed any phone manners at all. Sadly, they aren't living in the moment, or enjoying the company they're with. Do you think this will ever change?

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    1. Thanks, Yvonne. Will it change? Possibly, but most likely for something even worse!

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  12. I wouldn't dream of having a conversation or answering a text whilst having a meal in a restaurant but I wouldn't dream of being without my phone either - anywhere. Ironically I've discovered recently more and more when conversations flow around the dinner table people turn to me and say 'please look that up on that thing of yours'.

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    1. That's quite different, Graham. What I'm talking (writing?) about is those who lay out their phone on the table, almost as part of the place setting, and watch it throughout a meal, pouncing when it so much as squeaks. I have a mobile, and now feel unsafe when (for example) out riding without it.

      Actually, I think there may well be a market soon for a matching mobile-holder/stand to match cutlery, napkins etc. My chance to make millions at last...

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    2. I couldn't agree more with you Frances but then manners in general are so dissimilar now to when I was dragged up that I sometimes wonder where we are heading in the area of consideration of other people at all. For that is essentially what good manners are about.

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