According to author Robert McCrum, in his new book Every Third Thought, every third thought of those of us over 65 is about death.
I have never seen death mentioned in a blog post (apart from in the context of personal bereavement), and thinking about it now, that seems strange. After all, life and death are the two basics we all have in common. We are alive, and we are going to die.
I fall into McCrum's age bracket, and yes. I think about death a lot. And it's not a prospect I relish. I feel like Woody Allen, who famously said that he wasn't afraid of death; he just didn't want to be around when it happened. I think I feel the same. I do have a fragile faith, but will it stand up to this final challenge? Quite possibly not. I regularly read the late great Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's book, Life After Death, because I find it comforting. She was a doctor who worked all her life with dying people, and she had no doubt at all that there is a (good) life after death. Am I pathetic? Quite possibly.
And yet it is hard to imagine a futureless ( for me) world. I remember laying out the body of a twenty-two-year-old girl. This was terribly sad, as these things alway are. But what I found especially poignant was that she had painted her toenails (blue). She knew she was going to die, and she was very frightened, but those sky blue toenails were like a small fragment of hope; a little stake in a future which wasn't to be.
And I can understand that.
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Funnily enough, I mentioned death (my late husband's) in my blog post a few minutes ago. I find the thought of death comforting, though the manner of it can be dreadful, of course.
ReplyDeleteZ, you're lucky to find it comforting! I think I've seen too many people die...
DeleteI wasn't clear - the fact that I will die is a comfort. Much of my resilience has been used up over the past couple of decades and I've seen too many people die too.
DeleteI am working on a post about death and obituaries just now.
ReplyDeleteBest to think of the life that we have right NOW. Like the young girl painting her toenails blue, that is a beautiful to me.
Kay, of course you're right. Because now is all we ever have. Small children and animals are good at living in the present. I am not!
DeleteFor many people, death still is very much a taboo. You can tell by the way they talk about it, not even calling it "death" but someone has "passed away" or "is gone". I sometimes use such expressions, too, but I always make it very clear in context that I am talking about someone's (usually my husband's) death.
ReplyDeleteStrangely enough, I rarely think about my own death. Maybe that is because I am not yet in the age bracket mentioned (I will be 50 next March).
Meike, I think I've always thought about death. But I'm a pessimist, and that's what pessimists do!
DeleteI only consider death seriously when buying clothes. Quality is less of an issue these days.
ReplyDeleteGood point, Adrian. I bought some new jeans today, so maybe there's hope for me yet. They are Gap (my favourites) so good ones, but in the sale. Not sure what that says about me...
DeleteI wonder whether Ernest had these thought, Frances.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not, Wendy. Or if he did, he certainly wouldn't have admitted it.
DeleteI find the concept of death difficult to imagine. To think that you will be gone as if in a deep sleep for ever and ever. I am still too inquisitive about the future and to see what will have happened to us all in 50, 100 years time. I have no faith, so for me it just ends, full stop.
ReplyDeleteYou may be pleasantly surprised when your time comes, Maggie...?
DeleteOh my! Only every third thought ... just wait until you are in your eighties when it becomes the primary thought before sleep each night.
ReplyDeleteJill, I can't wait!
DeleteFrances, I love your sense of humor!
DeleteI think of death simply because it is forced upon me constantly by circumstances and other people. I had a lung condition when I was a young teenager from which people die even today. I don't die nor did it ever occur to me that I would when I had part of a lung removed when I was 15. It was a major operation in those days. I have lived with cancer for nearly 20 years and a new battle is just about to commence in my personal war. A friend is dying at the moment of the same cancer. However it only ever fleetingly occurs to me that this immortal body that I occupy might suddenly succumb. I lost my faith years ago and am grateful for that. Before I believed in a life hereafter and reincarnation. The idea of coming back to the total mess we are making of this planet scares the living daylights out of me far more than death. But then I've always been an optimist of the first order. Apart from that I see no point whatsoever in worrying about something about which I can do nothing. Death is inevitable. However if you told me that I had altzheimers disease then I would probably be very scared indeed.
ReplyDeletePS apologies for the sloppy spellings. 7/10. Could do better.
DeleteGraham, I really admire your optimism, and long may it continue. I do hope that the "new battle" isn't too threatening, and that you will come through as you have before. As for the spellings, I didn't notice them!
DeleteThe things you worry about most rarely happen. However, death is inevitable and I am in that age group and think about it more and more. My main fear is being a burden on my family.
ReplyDeleteL, I agree that the burden thing is a worry. My daughter has already worked out a care plan for me!
DeleteQuite possibly it's not historically accurate, but I love the William Wallace quote 'Every man dies, not every man really lives'.
ReplyDeleteWe can't avoid death, but to some extent at least, we can make choices about how we live.
A lovely quote, Patsy, and worth bearing in mind!
DeleteHave to say I don't think about it that much yet, apart from the fact it's inevitable! Agree with Patsy's comment.
ReplyDeleteI should have added that many members of my family died far too young so I just take life as it comes now.
DeleteVery sensible, Rosemary, but not always easy to stick to...?
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