I am FURIOUS!

This evening, my daugher phoned and told me that some child's horrible mother had told Phoebe (her daughter) that there's no such thing as Father Christmas, and I've just recieved this heartbreaking little email:

"today i found out that santas not real. we are crying but i know that he is ot real because nobody apart from 4or3 peolpe belived in santa bye
phoebe"*

Since starting this post, I've had a hysterical phone call from Pheoebe, beside herself with distress, and hardly able to speak because she's so upset. Apparently the other two (triplets) are also in tears.

I always had a rule: never discuss either Father Chrsitmas or sex with other people's children. It is NOT YOUR BUSINESS! So now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to avenge a much-loved granddaughter, and rearrange that bloody woman's face.

* Not the greatest speller in the world, but who cares?

Ho ho ho...

I went to our local Sainsburys this morning, and there were crowds of people, and the shelves were groaning with Christmas stuff, and a merry song was belting out, telling us all how jolly and happy we all were, and everyone looked soooo miserable. As I passed a couple, the man caught his partner by the collar and dragged her away saying, "NO! You DON'T need any more of that!" The poor cow probably has more than enough to do, and didn't need to be treated like that. Christmas can be a difficult time for women (my husband said that one of the nice things about being married was that he only had to buy one present).

I felt strangely cheered by all this because (a) it was quite amusing seeing all these miserable people buying things to make them happy, and manifestly failing, and (b) because I've pretty well finished my Christmas shopping (please note, Aliya), found some half-price Christmas crackers, and am feeling quite jolly.

I was going to finish this with a fairly amusing cracker joke from the newpaper, but sadly I've already forgotten it (I can never remember jokes, except for one that's so rude that there's hardly anyone I can tell it to).