Whose bits are they, anyway?

My sister and I were both having minor surgical procedures today (mine, a biopsy of the nose. I now have a blue stitch in my nose. Why blue? Why not nose-coloured? Why?). And we were discussing on the phone what happened to bits of us that had been removed.

When I had my hip replaced fve years ago, I asked if I could keep my old one. After the expected shock/horror/"why-would-you-want-to-do-that" reaction, I was told that no. I couldn't have it back. They did show it to me afterwards, but I was too woozy to take a lot of notice. But now, far too late, I feel quite cross about it.

My body is mine. Its bits are mine. What I wish to do with those that are removed is my business. If I want to pickle them, or make them into paper weights, then that's up to me. So, as we chatted, we had lots of ideas about what could be done with people's bits, and a new way of making money for the NHS into the bargain.

For instance, a hip bone could be polished and laid on its side like a log, and with a pretty little ceramic squirrel on it would make a nice talking point. Gallstones could be polished and made into jewellery. Pretty well anything coudl be fixed in perspex and made into a paper weight, book ends, or some other useful/useless article. The NHS could arrange for this, and without charging the patient for the actual body part, could charge for the additional art work. A win-win all round.

What do you think?.