Saturday 18 December 2010

Letter to Delia

Dear Delia

I like you. I really do. I like your wholesomeness; the fact that you are down-to-earth, and when you're on the TV you don't do that coy thing creeping down to the (studio) fridge in your nightie to pig out on something fattening; the fact that you remind us to put on our oven gloves in case we burn ourselves. You are a nice person.

But I can't get on with your recipes. I've tried. I really have. I know I'm in a minority. I know it's almost certainly my own fault. But there it is. Last week we had friends to dinner, and I tried your recipe for ratatouille. I followed the instructions minutely, cut the veg in inch-thick slices (which really went against the grain, but you are Deila and you know). Well, it was a disaster. Although I gave it extra cooking time, it was like chewing boot leather. It didn't work. I love ratatouille. It's one of my favourite dishes ("why didn't you stick to to your usual receipe?" asked my daughter. Good point. But I thought that because you are Delia, yours would be even better. It wasn't). So I shall put my Delia book away for a while. Maybe I'll try again one day; maybe I won't. At the moment, I need time to get over the humiliation of watching seven people trying to look as though they're enjoying something horrible.

But have a wonderful Chrsitmas, anyway, and no hard feelings, eh? After all, with so many fans, you don't really need me.


  1. Just checked out that recipe, and if you put meat strips in there, it's pretty much how you make jerky, so I'm not surprised it was tough and leathery.

  2. What the heck is Jerky? It sounds like something people take on expeditions to the North Pole. (Come to think of it, that ratatouille would have felt at home on the North Pole.)

  3. You're not too far off. It's essentially dried, salted preserved meat, often associated with exploration teams or the American Old West.

    But never fear!

  4. Well, thanks for that, Nevets. Now I shall know for next time.

  5. Building cross-cultural awareness, you and I.

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