Today, I read the reassuring news that in some areas, the police are being issued with "lifestyle guides". The advice includes helping with the household chores, and taking up activities such as gardening and dancing in order to keep fit. Also, police should remember to have a pee before going to bed - yes, really - and also to wrap up their sandwiches if they make them the night before, to stop them from drying out (you see? Really useful advice).
Suggested sandwich fillings include the bewildering combination of peanut butter and grated apple, and the sandwiches should be eaten sitting down "to avoid consuming too much", (and also presumably so that police don't, literally, end up filling their boots).
So if you come across an ill-tempered policeman, be gentle with him. He's probably eaten too many peanut butter and apple sandwiches standing up, and has got his quickstep confused with his tango.
Aaaaah. Bless.
