Monday 30 May 2011

The dancing policeman

Today, I read the reassuring news that in some areas, the police are being issued with "lifestyle guides". The advice includes helping with the household chores, and taking up activities such as gardening and dancing in order to keep fit. Also, police should remember to have a pee before going to bed - yes, really - and also to wrap up their sandwiches if they make them the night before, to stop them from drying out (you see? Really useful advice).

Suggested sandwich fillings include the bewildering combination of peanut butter and grated apple, and the sandwiches should be eaten sitting down "to avoid consuming too much", (and also presumably so that police don't, literally, end up filling their boots).

So if you come across an ill-tempered policeman, be gentle with him. He's probably eaten too many peanut butter and apple sandwiches standing up, and has got his quickstep confused with his tango.

Aaaaah. Bless.


  1. This is a joke, right? Right? And peanut butter and apple sounds worse than peanut butter and jelly. Although my mom loves peanut butter and crispy bacon sandwiches. Just give me plain crunchy Black Cat peanut butter on thickly buttered bread! Yum!
    Judy, South Africa

  2. Maybe, there should be other 'Lifestyle Guides' for other walks of life too.

    Maybe politicians, hairdressers and what about traffic wardens

    Just a quick thought...

  3. Are you kidding?

    Thank you for the comment you left on my blog Life's hard Wine helps. I added a reply, but something weird is going on and I had to sign myself anonymous.

  4. I'm glad my taxes aren't being totally wasted ...

  5. Judy, I'm sure your police are capable of inventing their own sandwich fillings (having said that, peanut btter is about the one food I cannot stand!).

    Godo idea, Jarmara. And writers, too. Why not?

    Hi, Eileen. Yes - I had a spot of bother with your blog. Their seems to have been a lot of it around in the past couple of weeks.

    Oh Patsy, be assured. Your taxes are in very safe hands. After all, if we're not prepared to pay for our police to learn the odd foxtrot, what's the world coming to?